Stuff Students Say: October Edition

My mom tells me that if someone doesn’t know Jesus the best way to show them that you know him is to be so kind that they want to know where the kindness comes from. 

I don’t know if you have kids or not but if you do you should come to my brother’s birthday party. If you don’t have kids you can still come though too. 

Dear God, please protect us so that we don’t die too soon so that we can enjoy your creation and stuff. Amen. 

We're going to target you guys! Booya I love that place!


Guess what my biggest nightmare is! Applesauce! Or mashed potatoes!

Stuff Students Say: September Edition

The first month at Timothy is done! I'm adjusting, learning, but still totally the newbie. I'm loving my kids, their families, and of course my coworkers already. God's faithfulness still proves to be faithful, even through some changes! Huh. Who woulda thunk. Here are just a few gems from my kids this month:

(During the first few days of school, when I was going over routines for the bathroom procedure.)
Me: We use one pump of soap, wash our hands all the way, and then come right back out so another student can have a turn.
Student: Also, remember to tell the class not to poop on the floor. That happened to me once. It wasn't allowed then either.

Mrs. Whartnaby I know all about DNA and what it is. It's what makes you feel like yourself.

Student: Do you have any extra spoons?
Me: No, I'm so sorry. All out.
*Student proceeds to eat a yogurt and granola parfait with his fingers.*
Me: Ummm. Maybe not how we eat yogurt.

Student: Oh my goodness! In other countries, they worship idols!
Me: Well, you know that we also have idols in this country. Lots of them.
Student: Nope. Because there aren't altars and statues here.
Me: But we put things first before God in our lives, like money and popularity and toys and things. So those kinds of idols are all over. And we probably have more of them than most places.
Student: WOW you are smart! You know the Bible! 

Me: Wow, I'm loving these observations I'm seeing. Great work, scientists!
Student: You know, I've been a scientist since kindergarten. I made a lava lamp in kindergarten and that started it all.

Stuff Students Say: May Edition

You guys, we have 3 and a half days left. That's it! I am so so so excited for summer because I've been sprinting to the finish line over here, and am currently drowning in report cards. That being said, I want to hang on to every single day with my kids because this class is so special to me. Here are some of the great things they said this month:

(Discussing different historial flags during Social Studies)
The don't tread on me flag is my favorite because it's like we're telling England you can't walk all over me so watch out!

I was going so high on the swings at recess that the sun almost melted my face!

(After answering a math question correctly in front of the class)
That's how I ROLL! 

(Our principal let the second graders bring their bikes to ride around on the pavement during recess one Wednesday)
This is the best day in the whole world to me! 

Student: Mrs. Whartnaby I have a secret for you so come closer. 
Me: Okay, what do you need?
Student: If I was a grown up and I had a ring I would say will you marry me and give the ring to you.

(Discussing the Last Supper in Bible class)
Wait...isn't this communion? When all the adults get snacks in the front of church? 

Mrs. Whartnaby I didn't know you were a bear hugger!

Stuff Students Say: April Edition

How is it May? HOW?! Can I take five seconds to do a pro-Calvin rant? Calvin Christian uses NWEA MAP testing to gauge student growth and find areas of strength and weakness in our kids. We test three times a year: September, December, and May. We set growth goals based on those scores and use the data all the time to differentiate. Here's the thing though: last year? Using the same testing system? I was completely toast. At this point last year, I had the pressure of my paycheck, my students' livelihoods, the reputation of my teaching, and even my job security riding on how my kids performed on those spring tests. This year? No frantic April meltdowns on my part (or my kids!) as we got ready for this test. Why? Well, we believe that our school is a partner with the parents in raising kids, and that we use data to do our best to help...guess who...kids! What a novel idea! Not to rank schools, evaluate teachers, or kill-and-drill my 7-year-olds to kingdom come, but to get a truer and better understanding of each kid's individual brain, created by God and meant to give glory to God through growth, achieving goals, and discovering this world. So yes, MAP testing begins next week in second grade. But nope, I'm not panicking. The crazy thing? With this kind of atmosphere, with less emphasis on a number to define kids, with an understanding that kids are whole, multifaceted people, that's when students perform BETTER on said tests! It makes me smile and it makes me thankful to be teaching in an atmosphere like that. Anyway, here are some great things my kids said in the month of April.

Hmm. Rosa Parks was very ordinary. Or at least ordinary-ish. The only part that wasn't ordinary was that she stood up for her freedom! So you can just be ordinary like me and still change a lot of things! 
(Cue silent tears in my eyes as I get all choked up full of all the teacher feelings.)

Me: Hey buddy. I've noticed you're kind of distracted this morning. Are you okay?
Student: I woke up at 6:59 and that's why my brain isn't quite working yet. It will maybe kick in soon. 

Can you turn me into Barack Obama? 

Hey! I'm wearing a BRA today! And it's also pink! 

(On a field trip in Chicago)
Okay I thought I just saw the Statue of Liberty for a second! We're in Chicago but for a second it felt like New York! 

Me: I like your outfit today!
Student: I get outfit ideas on Pinterest. I have a Pinterest of my own with over 500 pins!

I wish we had a big wooden wardrobe at Calvin so I could go to Narnia whenever I wanted.
(Me too, kid. Me too.)

Calvin school is the best because you get to make piñatas! 

Stuff Students Say: March Edition

I type these words to you from the couch at my in-laws' place in Scottsdale, Arizona. The shoulders are sunburned and the freckle population on my face is back up to its capacity. I'm loving this week of relaxing, thinking, and being with my new family. I plan to return to the real-world with a new resolve to write more regularly. In the meantime, here are some fabulous one-liners from my ridiculous children.

(After reading a series of books about people who were activists..)
Mrs. Whartnaby we are being activists for children's rights! Just like you told us to be activists! Our cause is that we want longer recesses!

I like you because you aren't a mean teacher, Mrs. Whartnaby. It's just that you get frustrated when kids are being talkative. 

So do birds say "cheep" or "chirp"? I need to know for this bird's speech balloon in my story. 

Student: So orange trees....are they a thing?
Me: You mean are they real? Yes, of course. Oranges grow on orange trees.
Student: Well how are we supposed to know? These vegetables and fruits are coming at us from all different ways of growing!

(Settling a dispute on the playground between two kindergarteners. One said that he was being left out in the game of man vs. monster tag.)
Student: He's not being left out, it's just that we're not playing that game! We aren't playing man vs. monster tag, we're playing zombie vs. monster tag! It's two completely different things!!

(We did a Curiosity Project where students got to research an area of interest, passion, or curiosity that they have.)
Me: What topic do you think I would maybe like to research?
Student: Your topic should be Mr. Brian! Or Teaching!

(Before his Curiosity Project presentation)
I'm just so excited to start...I'M SO EAGER!

Wait a minute. The earth is in space too, it's not just the planets in space? So you're TELLING me we're in space right now?! 

Stuff Students Say: February Edition

I know I know...two days late. My bad. Things, though, are looking up! It's March! It's technically a spring month! Warmth is coming! My kids and I consistently compare this Chicago winter to Narnia...a classic case of it's-always-winter-but-never-Christmas in the doldrums of January and February. We made it through alive, and now it's time for the big thaw to come. Here's a few gems from my kids this month.

(I was trying to introduce an inquiry-based project to my class, and asking them to think about times when they got to be in charge of their learning.)
Me: Who likes to be in charge?! Raise your hand if you like to make your own decisions sometimes!
Student: LIKES to be in charge? I AM in charge!

Mrs. Whartnaby I want to be your child.

(After a fiesta in Spanish class to celebrate all the names of foods they learned)
I feel like a fat buffalo. 

Student 1: Are you Taylor Swift in disguise as our teacher?
Student 2: Yeah and then at night you put on sparkly dresses and sing the Shake It Off song?!

(We named our class teddy bear Brian the Third, after my dad who is Brian and my husband who is Brian.)
Look! We're making Brian do the splits in his gymnastics class!

Finding adverbs is the most fun thing I've done today. 

Mr. Brian should teach us for a day and you should teach his students for a day so we can get to know him. He could do it! Second graders are just like high schoolers except not sassy or bossy. 

(Holding up a tablet during our Reading block)
Does Wifi come through the light as a solar power? 

Stuff Students Say: January Edition

January is always a little bit rough for me in the teaching realm. You have the post-Christmas break drag to overcome, not to mention a newfound realization that you have SO MANY THINGS TO DO before your kids go off to third grade. It's a combination of a fuzzy brain, a busy schedule, and cabin-fever kids. In spite of that, though, my kids are fabulous as usual and supplied me with some great one liners. Here are this month's gems:

(Said on January 12.)

Wait...Christmas break is over?

My mom wants me to get a drink of water I think. Or she would want me to go get a drink of water. Because I'm thirsty and she doesn't want me to be thirsty. So can I go do that?

If she's the principal's wife does that make her the vice principal?

(Talking about the temptation of Jesus and how he was fasting in the desert.)

Me: What does it mean to fast?

Student: It means to lay off the sugar. 

I wish this day could last forever! I don't want to go home! On the other hand, we would get really tired.

I have a neck injury. Therefore, may I please go to the bathroom?

I lost my sock. I'm off to survey the premises.

(After conquering the task of decoding hard words during Guided Reading)

I feel so powerful!

I want to live in second grade forever! 

Mrs. Whartnaby I lost my sock. I'm off to survey the premises.

Our Unit Benchmark Test, there was a Reading Response that asked the students to think of a time they had a problem and what they did to solve it. A girl in my class raised her hand and said:

I have never had a real problem before. What do I do for this question? I can't answer it. 

#firstworldproblems 

We are reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and when Veruca Salt went down the garbage chute, someone yelled out: 

She just got SERVED! 

Stuff Students Say: December Edition

Okay, so yes, it is technically January. And yes, I am going to write two posts in one day because I forgot to post them while it was still officially December. But then I remembered I can do whatever I want on this blog because it's mine! How wonderful. Here's a few gems from December AKA THE MONTH OF CHRISTMAS CRAZY WHEN TEACHERS GO TO SLEEP AT 8:30 PM.

But first things first, do yourself a favor and listen to my kids along with the first graders reciting Luke 2 by clicking on this sentence. 

Student: I have two cats. 
Me: Oh you've never mentioned that you've had pets before. What are their names?
Student: Grace and Mercy. But Grace is dead.

(At recess.)
I stopped a tornado today. 

(Reading a book about Benjamin Franklin.)
Student: Scientists must be so smart if they can create lightning. 
Me: Actually, lightning was already created, it already existed. The scientist in this case discovered that electricity was present in the lightning bolt because it charged the key attached to the kite he was flying.
Student: Woah. You must be a scientist or something. 

Did you know that Christmas is named after Jesus Christ? GET IT?....CHRIST?! CHRIST-MAS! 

(I was playing classical music while they worked quietly.)
Is this called classy music?

Okay is your husband accepting Christmas gifts such as cookies?

Me: We all can think of ways to be more helpful to others. For example, can you think of a way to be helpful to your mom or dad?
Student 1: I help my mom by folding the towels.
Student 2: I help my mom by setting the table.
Student 3: I help my mom by leaving her be alone sometimes and not disturbing her. 

Stuff Students Say: November Edition

Hi everyone! I am writing this on a Sunday night after a holiday break, which means the oh-crap-I-procrastinated-too-much syndrome has set in. In a happy distraction to myself, I'm sharing a few gems that my kids have said for the month of November. I'll start with a Thing a Student Drew. He gave it to me, saying it was me, and that I was wearing a super hero costume with "ST" for Super Teacher. Apparently Super Teacher likes to frolic in garden fields. I like it. 

A student ran up to me while I was on recess duty and said...

Mrs. Whartnaby. She told me to S-H-U-T-SPACE-U-P. 

Boy 1: So when we get to 8th grade, we get mustaches. That's how it goes. 

Boy 2: Awesome! I'm going to make mine into a goatee! 

While we were watching The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and Aslan comes back from the dead...

ASLAN SWAGGGG!!!! 

Student 1: I wonder what the longest word is.

Student 2: The most important word is God. And then Jesus after that because Jesus is God too so the first word covers him.

Praying out loud before lunch.

Dear Jesus thank you for Mrs. Whartnaby who works so hard to make us learn and doesn't get mad when we are all hyper so please help us to sit still. 

(talking) I need some help from the genius in the room. (yelling across the room) Mrs. W please come here so I can get your genius input! 

Stuff Students Say: October Edition

Halloween used to not only last a day, not only last for a week, but last for a whole month. So far, that is one of the biggest differences between the kids I taught in Chicago and the kids I teach in South Holland. Sure, my kids love Halloween this year, but there was nothing like the month-long devotion to candy and superheroes that happened in my kids' brains at LEARN Charter. I remember instituting a "superhero station" for free choice time last year because my boys were begging me to let them wear their costumes for 15 minutes a day and flex those muscles. This year, however, Halloween was a half day of school, an exciting morning but still one full of work that got done, and a happy teacher who was tired, but not fried to exhaustion, dreaming in clouds of report cards, behavior charts, and peanut butter cups. Okay, so I am currently working on report cards (woof) but as a slightly less overwhelmed teacher than in years past. Even without the Halloween-frenzy, here are some gems that popped up this month:

(While I was on recess duty and negotiating a conflict between two kindergarteners)

Kindergartener 1: He won't let me play with him! 

Kindergartener 2: He wants to play Ninja Turtles with me, but I'm telling you, I have a nasty mean punch, and if we play, he's going to get hurt! I just don't want my punch to hurt him, so we shouldn't play!

Kindergartener 1: Nothing hurts me. I don't even have a fragile skull or tummy. If a big tower falls on me, I won't even get hurt!

Mrs. Whartnaby can I read during recess? I just love my book and can't wait to read it. 

You look really cute Mrs. Whartnaby. It's a combination of your outfit and your face.

Student: How do you spell "hast"?

Me: Hmm, I'm not sure I know that word. Can you use it in a sentence so I know what you mean?

Student: Like, "She HAST to do homework before she plays her game." 

(After a discussion about Alexander the Great, and how he was Greek)

Ohhh I know what Greek is! Do you watch DC cupcakes? Those ladies are Greek too! I love cupcakes so much that sometimes I eat cupcakes while I watch DC cupcakes.

Me (aghast): You send text messages?!

Student: Oh yeah. Sprint texts me sometimes. They're always trying to give me free stuff. I don't text them though. I only text my mom because we have a lot of iPhones in our family.

Technology is the best thing besides Jesus.

(raises her hand for help during math)

Mrs. Whartnaby are you a hugger?

(proceeds to get up and give me a hug) 

Are you old enough to have a child? I think you should have one because I'm sure it's fun to have a child.

I never wanna leave second grade!

(On why she shouldn't have to wear a jacket)

Ohhh let me explain. I was born in December so I'm used to the cold.

My church doesn't celebrate Halloween. We celebrate Hallow-LUJAH day! 

(On our field trip to Fair Oaks Farm, pointing to the underside of a pig)

Student: Why does it have all those pointy things?

Me (not ready for that talk): I'm not sure. You should ask your mom! 

Stuff Students Say: September Edition

It's back! I'm at a new school with new kids but the same old thing is true: they say awesome things that secretly make me laugh. Most of the time I look at them with concerned and interested looks, nodding my head along in all seriousness to the things they say, trying to come up with a thoughtful response. In reality? I'm cracking up. But only inwardly. Teachers have to be actors, I suppose, and showing restraint in the face of ridiculous comments is one of the best ways it's done. Here are the gems from my first month at Calvin.

For Christmas this year I'm asking for the ability to fly. Now that's the gift that keeps on giving. 

Ms. Whartnaby - I just wanted to be extra generous - so I am offering a Dorito to you. Would you like to eat it as a snack? 

I never sometimes have lunch.

Me: So who can tell me what the sum of this problem would be? (Called on student, who was raising his hand.)
Student: I don't have tonsils anymore! They took them out of my throat. 
Me: Okay cool! Do you know the sum though?

Does your husband always eat your cookies before you can get around to eating them?

On September 11 we were talking about how important firefighters were to our communities.
Student: So you're telling me they just went in those buildings even though they were on fire? How THOUGHTFUL of them! I think that was so nice and thoughtful. Do you think it was thoughtful??

Me: So what is the main character's name in your story? (The character's name was Elfie.)
Student: I'm not sure. It looks like Selfie though. Is it Selfie!?

(After giving them an extra 10 minutes of recess for good behavior)
Mrs. Whartnaby I just want to thank you for all you do for us! 

Me: I love how you wore your hair big like that today.
Student: Your natural hair is great too, even though it's not big. Remember to always use your natural hair, okay?

(A student's sew-in braid fell out at recess)
I'm going to take it and make it into a bracelet. Good as new!

(While reading The Trumpet of The Swan, the swan plays "Summertime" by George Gershwin)
Me: Have you guys heard of that song? (I hummed the song, and about half of them had)
Student: I don't know that one, but I do know a summertime song. Summertime Sadness! It's a classic. 

Stuff Students Say: June edition. End of year edition. It's over edition!!!

Here we are. I've finished my two years of commitment with Teach For America. And as you can see from the last two and a half weeks of silence on my blog, it's a hard thing for me to reflect on and think about. It's a hard thing to sum up. It's a hard thing to grasp. So, while I'm over here in wedding planning limbo, I'll at least give you a look at what my kids said in the last two weeks of school. I miss them.

Student 1: Does that say "food"?
Student 2: Yeah, it says food! DUH. Like food. F-O-D-D. Food. 

(At the Shedd Aquarium, in response to a classmate who was whining that we couldn't get in to the dolphin show, an extra event that you had to purchase a separate ticket for.)
Look, you gotta stop crying. Only certain people can see it and we ain't certain people. We just regular people!!

(Asking about my wedding.)
So you gonna have a big white cake? So if I be good can I have a piece?!

Student: Ms. Gesch you had soft hair like this your whole life?
Me: Yes, I suppose I have.
Student: You guys! Ms. Gesch said she had this kind of hair when she was a baby!!!

(In our share circle about what we did over the weekend)
We got cable. It is the best thing you guys. 

I don't want to do word work. That stuff makes me throw up. So I better not learn any more about words because I don't want to get sick. 

Student: I won't be at school tomorrow. I got an appointment for my hair.
Me: Well I still think you should ask your mom to take you after school for the appointment - we would miss you!
Student: Ohhh no no no. This kind of hair appointment take all day. You gotta just sit there and wait forever for it to be done. 

(On the last day.)
Will you be my mom? 

Stuff Students Say: May Edition

People. It's June 4. That means I'm 15 days, or about 2 weeks, from summer, freedom, friends, wedding bells, and going to the Caribbean with a handsome dude. Let's just say I'm feeling the end of the year stretch pretty heavily right now. I just moved into my new apartment over the weekend, so my life is all kinds of crazy, disorganized, and haphazard. I'm using blogging and funny statements as a nice diversion to my current stress. It's working :)

Is Michael my cousin? He keeps telling me that he's my cousin.

When asked to use the word "section" in a sentence, this student raised his hand and said:
My mom lets me cook sometimes.

Student: You gonna be a mom in July.
Me: No, I'm going to get married in July.
Student: No, you gonna be a mom so I'm making you a mother's day card. 

Ms. Gesch I love your hugs because they're so cuddly and nice.

Me: All the teachers at our school had to go to training this weekend. We call it professional development, but it really just means that we learn more and more about teaching.
Student: So you know karate?!?

I wish you was my mom. 

Student: This weekend they had a baby shower for my auntie and it was all pink. She's having a boy. 
Me: Are you sure she's not having a girl if the party was all pink?
Student: No, she's having a boy, but pink is always the color you use for parties.

This student was bawling on the bus on our way home from a field trip to the zoo
My brother wasn't old enough to go to kindergarten and now he won't be able to go on the bus and he's never seen an animal before and it makes me sad! 

You smell really good Ms. Gesch. Like strawberries. 

I really wanna be in middle school because then I'd be closer to college so I can be a teacher just like you. 

Is you Irish?!

Can I ask you a question? Where do you get your hair done?

Did you know that my uncle is my mommy's brother? They just told me that this morning! 

Stuff Students Say: April Edition

IT'S HERE.

MAY.

May means almost the end of the school year, but May also means very very high stakes testing for my little first graders. This week is a big one, maybe the biggest one, for my kiddos and I as far as the school district is concerned. As far as I am concerned, my kids are more than numbers and a 45-minute computer test. So we will just have to agree to disagree, CPS, state of Illinois, and any other interested parties. In the meantime, here are gems from the month of April.

(When I walked over during math, assuming that she was going to ask a question about math.)
Do my hair smell good?

Hey Ms. Gesch you been working out? 

I don't wanna have kids. I hear it hurts so bad and that's why my mom gets mad at me. Because she had to have me and it hurt. So no kids for me.

I can spell "television" and "carpet" so you should be proud of me Ms. Gesch. 

Over the weekend I'm going to IHOP. For pancakes, duh.

You smell clean. You wash your clothes? With bleach? In a dryer?

(After I was gone for a day from school)
I kinda missed you. Okay a lotta kinda. 
(Heart melt.)

I was white when I was born.

(Screamed to me during recess)
Listen to the words I am saying to you. When I get to be 21 I will have my birthday in Hawaii. 

(Reading a book on koalas)
They burned down the forests?! They MEAN! 

Stuff Students Say: March Edition

When your spring break starts on April 14, March is a long month. Last year at this time I was happily on break and not thinking about school at all. I've still got a week and a half left before we are in the clear and break is upon us. With that, let me just say that I've been sitting in bed, half doing grad work and half dozing off and half browsing blogs (I realize I just claimed to have somehow split my time into three halves but it makes sense to me somehow...) and feeling exhausted. I'm doing weird things like looking up symptoms for mono and diabetes and other diseases. I think the disease is spring break fever. And we all know, of course, what the only cure for that is. More cowbell.

Until that day comes, here are some hilarious things my kids said last month.

Me: What did you do this weekend?
Student: I went to church, I went to church, I went to church. Man all we do is church. 

(Yelled out to the whole class during lunch.)
Raise your hand if your daddy has a decent car!!

I need some eyes Ms. Gesch. All you do is make me work and now they are tired.

Me: Okay ladies and gentlemen, time to clean up.
Student: Ladies?! She a lady? No ladies live here. 

(During playtime)
The dog is sick!! Call the vegetarian quick! 

(On a field trip)
We're downtown! You can see the whole United States from here!

I can't wait until it's summer so I can wear my cute clothes, even a tutu, and ride my bike all around town with no training wheels. 

(A freudian slip by one of my girls who was trying to tell her friend not to forget her cardigan at school.)
Hey Monique go get your swagger...I mean sweater! 

Can you take a picture of me? Can you put me on vine?

Student 1: When you take your glasses off you look prettier Ms. Gesch. Your eyelashes get bigger.
Student 2: Yeah we all like your eyelashes.

(Reading about whales)
Whales breathe like people except we breathe through our faces and they breathe through their heads. 

(On picture day)
I didn't do my homework because I had to get my hair done all night. My mom said this is what we are focusing on right now so I just shut up and let her. 

Stuff Students Say: February Edition

Here are this month's faves from my fave little people.

This piece of paper costs me 200,000 dollars. My daddy told me that. 

Ms. Gesch I'm going to tell everyone that you have a boyfriend.

I wish it was always Valentine's Day because I always love you.

(During a Guided Reading session)
Is Amelia Earhart dead? Because she coulda hid her plane in the ocean and swam away and that's why nobody found her. 

Ms. Gesch you talk like Hannah Montana.

(When I put my hair in a ponytail at the end of the day)
You look better with that updo.

Student: Do you love me?
Me: Yes I do.
Student: Of course you do!

Student: Ms. Gesch you got a wife? 
Me: No.
Student: But I thought you said you were getting married!
Me: Yeah but I'm getting married to a boy so he would be my husband.
Student: Ohhh so YOU the wife and HE the boy husband? These words are all different.

Koalas can have babies?!?

Ms. Gesch every time I go to work on my reading my legs hurt so that's why I have to play on the computer. 

Stuff Students Say: January Edition

So I'm 3 days late. I have to explain: I was all set to post this on Friday the 31st of January, but alas, the lake-effect snow in Michigan forced me to drive up early for what was supposed to be a Saturday drive up to Grand Rapids for my girl Ann Marie's wedding. Brian and I ended up going up to GR straight after school on Friday and had the privilege to be hosted by none other than Liz VanDrunen. She's the best, people. The best. But anyway, because of that, you get your quotes 3 days late. I hope you're excited because this batch is worth the wait. 

Ms. Gesch I wish you had a kid and then she could come sit in the classroom with me and be my buddy. 

After I told my kids that I got engaged over Christmas break...

So you pregnant Ms. Gesch?

Me: No, I'm engaged. That means that I'm going to be married soon. 

But then you have a baby in your stomach?

Me: No, I am not going to have a baby. I am going to get married. That means I'll have a husband. 

I still think that means you got kids. 

Students were asked to use their sight words in a sentence. One of my favorite kids, asked to use the word "but" in a sentence, yelled out proudly:

I have a big butt.

I am going to make these squirrels out the window sing again and again.

After I spoke with a parent about a field trip permission slip.

Student: Were you talking to my mama on the phone just now? What did she say about me? Is she going to whoop me now when I get home?

After reading a biography about MLKJ…

So Martin Luther was a principal? In a school? 

To a student who came to school after missing a day:

Me: Were you sick yesterday? We missed you! 

Student: Nah I wasn't sick. My mom just forgot to wash my uniform so she said forget it.

Student: Ms. Gesch you love God?

Me: Yes I do.

Student: I knew it. Me too. Do you know that Satan has power? But God has more power than the devil so it's all gonna be okay. 

During our Monday share of what happened over the weekend:

Over the weekend I had a dream that I was running from a lot of turkeys who were trying to eat me.

Student: Over the weekend I watched Black Men 3. 

Me: Do you mean Men in Black 3?

Student: Oh yeah, that's it. 

Ms. Gesch I love you so much I'm going to buy you White Castle tomorrow. 

Student 1: If I had 100 dollars I would buy juice. 

Student 2: If I had 100 dollars I would spend it on a girl. 

Me: Does anyone know what the word comprehension means?

Student: It's a state!

Me: I think you might be thinking of California.

Student: Well then my mom's been lying. 

Stuff Students Say: December Edition

Hey friends! It is January 1st! I should take a little bit of time to reflect on the past year, which for me, has been full of big things but has also gone by in an instant. While I do that, in the meantime, here are a few gems from last month in Room 25.

I am the champion of Miami!

I'm going to steal your coat Ms. Gesch. Then I'm gonna give it to my mom.

Will you marry me?

Student: How do you make a tissue dance?
Me: I don't know - how?
Student: You put a little boogie in it?

Me (in response to one student's answer): What a smart answer!
Another student: Wait wait wait, I'm smart too, right Ms. Gesch? You told me that I was smart before!
Me: Yes. More than one person can be smart!

(Walking in to class 2 hours late)
Student: Ms. Gesch I came to school today.
Me: I know.
Student: Just letting you know. 

Does this school offer milk refills?!

(Yelled at two of her classmates who were hitting each other)
No hitting in school! That's what you do at home. Keep the hitting at home!

Ms. Gesch you got a white pastor? My pastor is black. Is your white pastor good? I think he'd probably be a good one if he's your pastor. 

Student: Ms. Gesch. Michael farted and didn't say excuse me.
Me: Thanks for letting me know.

(As it was snowing outside and we were walking to recess in 15 degree weather)
Is winter over? 

Stuff Students Say: November Edition

I am thankful for the weird stuff that my kids say. I am thankful to people like you who find it equally as amusing. Here you go, friends.

On November 1.

Is tomorrow Thanksgiving?

Right after a lecture on how she needs to show her friends how special they are by using kind words and imparting valuable life lessons about being nice. I asked her if she understood what I was saying. She replied: 

Student: Ms. Gesch you pretty.

Me: (Sigh.) You're very pretty too.

In math, when called on to answer a word problem. 

My mama finally got some money and now we buying a house!

I can't do number lines! I'm only in first grade! What do you expect?!

On a pretend phone call to her parents after school. She didn't know anyone was watching her.

Why you ain't picked me up yet!? I almost called 9-9-1-1 on you! 

Student: Ms. Gesch you got kids?

Me: No I don't have any children.

Student: So yo grandma got yours for the weekend then?

Me: No I don't have any children at all.

Student: You gonna get some soon so you grandma can watch them on the weekends?

A student saw a picture of Brian on my phone background. I told Brian about this and he can confirm that no small children from East Garfield Park have visited his apartment. Yet. 

Ms. Gesch is that your boyfriend? When you visit him at his house did you know that I visit his house too? 

Oh I know everything about Ms. Gesch. I even know her favorite color. 

Imma get two thousand dolla for Christmas.

On a bus on the way to a field trip, looking out at Lake Michigan.

I saw a dolphin fighting a shark! I saw it! Too bad you guys missed it.

Do it rain in places like the city?

This bus driver is making my feet turn to chickens.

I wish our school was Wisconsin Dells.

Me too, Deon. Me too. 

Stuff Students Say: October Edition

Oh boy. Halloween has come and gone, finally. Once I make it through tomorrow, Halloween week, nay, Halloween month will officially be over. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a good spooky picture book and pumpkin craft just as much as the next guy. But I'll move on past the sugar-highed-antsy-in-their-pantsy class of children that comes along with this month. Here are the quotes that came with the chaos:

Why you put your hair behind your ear Ms. Gesch? It so cute when it's flowy!

Student 1, addressing an embarrassed student 2's dry skin: You never heard of cocoa butter before? Oil up your legs or something!

Ms. Gesch me and him we cousins. She know my gramma so that makes us cousins. When you know the others gramma. That's how you know you cousin. 

Before our field trip to the planetarium...
So wait we going right to the lake? So we going swimming, right?

At the planetarium, to the big yellow model of the sun...
THIS the sun? It's not hot though. You lie to us in school because you told me it's hot. 

Student 1: You eat chicken?
Student 2: Yes.
Student 1: Then yo breath be KICKIN'! 

Three times three equals I want more juice.

Me: I'm going to eat at a Spanish restaurant this weekend. They have food like the food in Spain.
Student: I love Spanish restaurants because you get a fortune cookie AND fried chicken!
Me: Are you sure that was a Spanish restaurant?
Student: Oh yeah. 

Me: What are you doing this weekend?
Student: I'm finding the free candy and going out there to get it all.