It's back! I'm at a new school with new kids but the same old thing is true: they say awesome things that secretly make me laugh. Most of the time I look at them with concerned and interested looks, nodding my head along in all seriousness to the things they say, trying to come up with a thoughtful response. In reality? I'm cracking up. But only inwardly. Teachers have to be actors, I suppose, and showing restraint in the face of ridiculous comments is one of the best ways it's done. Here are the gems from my first month at Calvin.
For Christmas this year I'm asking for the ability to fly. Now that's the gift that keeps on giving.
Ms. Whartnaby - I just wanted to be extra generous - so I am offering a Dorito to you. Would you like to eat it as a snack?
I never sometimes have lunch.
Me: So who can tell me what the sum of this problem would be? (Called on student, who was raising his hand.)
Student: I don't have tonsils anymore! They took them out of my throat.
Me: Okay cool! Do you know the sum though?
Does your husband always eat your cookies before you can get around to eating them?
On September 11 we were talking about how important firefighters were to our communities.
Student: So you're telling me they just went in those buildings even though they were on fire? How THOUGHTFUL of them! I think that was so nice and thoughtful. Do you think it was thoughtful??
Me: So what is the main character's name in your story? (The character's name was Elfie.)
Student: I'm not sure. It looks like Selfie though. Is it Selfie!?
(After giving them an extra 10 minutes of recess for good behavior)
Mrs. Whartnaby I just want to thank you for all you do for us!
Me: I love how you wore your hair big like that today.
Student: Your natural hair is great too, even though it's not big. Remember to always use your natural hair, okay?
(A student's sew-in braid fell out at recess)
I'm going to take it and make it into a bracelet. Good as new!
(While reading The Trumpet of The Swan, the swan plays "Summertime" by George Gershwin)
Me: Have you guys heard of that song? (I hummed the song, and about half of them had)
Student: I don't know that one, but I do know a summertime song. Summertime Sadness! It's a classic.
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