Baby H

People, this weekend was one for the books. It has been nonstop over here, but only full of good things. More on the other things that happened later, but for now I just want to share the amazing excitement that happens when one of your dearest friends is waiting for her daughter to arrive! We had Jen's baby shower at my apartment on Saturday morning to celebrate little Baby H's August arrival. The idea of hosting a shower made me feel simultaneously very much an adult and a panicked amateur. (Spoiler alert: it's not that scary and it all goes perfectly fine.) With in-laws in Indiana and family in Minnesota, Jen spent most of her adult life in Chicago, and I couldn't imagine putting it on for someone better. Jen is one of my lifelong friends that truly feels like a sister. She and her husband live in D.C. but have hopes of returning to the midwest sometime soon. It was precious to look around the room and see friends, moms, sisters, roommates, and small group girls of Jen's, all showing up and there for Jen as she and Andrew take this big step into being parents. I had all the best intentions of using my nice camera to capture this day for Jen, but of course, all the pictures below came from my iPhone. Such is life :) 

California Dreamin'

Over break I got to (finally) visit my dear friend Lauren Haney in Visalia, California! IT HAD BEEN FAR TOO LONG. I missed this chick. As a bonus, my friend from my English classes Kailyn went and visited her on the same days and I got to hang out/get to know her better as well (she is like awesome already at being a grownup...watch out publishing world, she is coming to conquer you). It was wonderful to spend a week with girls who are thinking on the same life wavelength as me.

Kailyn, Lauren, and yours truly. Braving the elements to bring this picture to you. 

Let me tell you a little something about Lauren Haney. She is badass, in my opinion. I met her as a freshman on the soccer team at Trinity Christian College when she was a sophomore. She was an RA, OPC kid, east-coaster, fiercely independent, involved in everything, and possessed probably too much confidence for a nineteen-year-old. But, alas, she pulled it off. She has been such a blessing to me. She's the one who took me out for pancakes after my little freshman-in-college heart was broken by some guy and told me that I'd be happy it didn't work out. (She was right.) She's the one who refused to accept that it was winter and made her dorm look like a surf shack year round. She's the one who wore soccer clothes erry stinking day of college and then BAM turns into a glamatron when she graduated college (yet she was a knockout either way). She is just an original. Her insight, advice, and perspective has been invaluable to me at some very important junctures in my college life and beyond. To me, she is equal parts hilarious, intelligent, inspirational, and blonde. I could go on, but it's 9:50 and in a teacher's world that is late night stuff. Now just let's all scheme a way to get her to move to Chicago. Here are some snapshots of the time we three got to spend together.

Literally though. After 7 hours in an airport and no food all night, I commemorated
this momentous meal on the wall of a pizzeria in LA.

Although the weather did not really cooperate, (ummm 35 degrees and raining and cloudy? THANKS CALI. 'PRECIATE IT.) we got to fit in a fair amount of goodness. We did the LA/Beverly Hills/Wine Tasting/Classy thing the first weekend, and then spent the second half of the trip in full blown hick paradise. Lauren is dating a dairy farmer, so we spent some time touring the dairy farm, riding in the back of demolition derby cars, and ringing in the new year in a barn. What a life I lead.

Moo. 

Mountains! I am starting to get the urge to live by mountains someday. 

Peace Out

On Friday night, my girl Karley Mae came to my apartment for some downtown shopping, hot-chocolate-sipping, and general soak-up-the-Christmasness-of-the-city fun. I love nights like this because we didn't need a plan, we simply went with it and had an awesome time just doing whatever, buying gifts and trinkets at random stores for others and ourselves. Karley is such a special person to me because she knows me, the real me. It is such a relief for me to be around her.

I was thinking about this yesterday, after she left, and was trying to figure out why I had such a fun time on a Friday night meandering around doing "nothing" with my best friend. It was the best Friday night I've had in awhile. It's not that she is exactly like me, agrees with everything I say, and therefore we get along. She is a completely different person than me. We disagree. We have different strengths, styles, tastes, interests, talents, and personalities. We don't gravitate towards the same things. But somehow we speak the same language. I've got her back, and she's got mine. And when I fumble up my words in an explanation of something I just said, she's right there nodding her head. She gets it.

True friendship. Yes. 

Maybe that's what makes friendship and relationships work. Maybe we don't need to be the same, we just need to be understood. 

I think it was an Oscar Wilde quote that said something about how people just need to be loved, not understood. Well...I slightly disagree. A lot of loving people happens in the pursuit of understanding. Not that you can ever completely understand anyone (that's the fun of continually getting to know anybody), but I think that a big part of loving somebody is committing to patiently working to try anyway. To try to understand. I can immediately think of those people who have patiently put in the time for my sake, and I know without a doubt I can truly be myself around them. The patient people are also the people that I trust. I don't think that's a coincidence. 

I'm one of those personalities that likes to relate to people. This makes meeting new friends and making connections tons of fun and actually really exciting. This also means that, when I'm with someone who understands me already, I have an unbelievable sense of peace that I didn't even know I was missing. It's easy to get hyper, wound-up, and flighty when you're spending your weeks running around and talking to parents of your students, trying to be professional with your bosses and co-workers, and in other situations fresh out of college where you meet new people and need to represent yourself at a new work, church, and life. When all that is taken away and I'm with someone who doesn't need the introductions and first impressions and friendliest version of myself, I realize what a peace that really is, especially at a time in my life when it's hard to feel peaceful about almost anything. It's a huge opportunity to exhale. I think we all want and need people like that. Those people are becoming more and more important to me.

This is something I want to do. I want to allow people to feel this peace to be themselves around me.  I'd like to put in the time to try and understand others on their own terms and let them feel free from the hyper runaround of making a good impression. To feel free to not always make connections and relate and be alike, but to be who they are as an original. To give them a chance to calm down and just be. That's an amazing gift to give someone. I think instead of Starbucks cards, clothes, and books these days, I could stand to invest in giving gifts like that.

SHARYN

April, myself, and Lizard. Always surrounded by blondies. 

Can NOT believe I haven't put up any picture of my beloved Karyn Koopmans' wedding that occurred at the beginning of this month. I love this girl with all my heart and am so happy that she is blissfully living in holy matrimony right now. She married a great guy named Shane Navratil, so I guess that would make her Karyn Navratil now. RIP Koops. You were a great nickname for so long. I think my dad won't ever stop calling her Koops. Also, in the tradition of BENNIFER and BRANISTON and BRANGELINA, their celebrity nickname would be SHARYN. Baller. 

Cousins :) 

While a lot of people roll their eyes or look at me in shock and awe when I say I had 12 weddings from April to November this year, I actually didn't mind it. I love weddings. I love love. So while, yes, it was pretty dang expensive to attend all these special days, it was also really special to be there for the biggest day of my friends' lives together. This is the third time this wedding season I've been asked to be a bridesmaid, and this one really felt special. Karyn and I have almost completely opposite personalities naturally (just ask her what she thought of me on first impression freshman year...oops), but her friendship is one that I value so much. She is real, speaks the truth, and isn't afraid to cut through the nonsense that can build up in a world where nobody wants to offend one another or have real opinions. She is also intelligent, reserved, caring, low-key, and thoughtful. There are so many things about her that I wish I had more of in myself. Isn't that funny? How you can bond with people exactly like you and almost nothing like you just the same? I think it's important to have friends of both persuasions.

Trinity crew!

Now I've rambled about Karyn because I know her so well, but I must also point out the catch that she married. Shane is an awesome, principled, chill guy. Perfect for Karyn. They just click together. And they're handling this adulthood transition better than almost anyone I know. Heck, they probably have like a 401k started or something. That mature. Shane, I have three pieces of advice for you in order to have a life of happiness with Karyn: 1) Root for the Cleveland Browns 2) Memorize While You Were Sleeping line by line and 3) Keep the main thing (your faith) the main thing in your life. That's Karyn in a nutshell. 

freshly married

Mel and me

Thomas was nice enough to go with me as my date to this shindig.
Doesn't he look thrilled? 

It's Always A Good Time

First of all, yes, I am obsessed with this song. Well, and this one too for that matter. I listen to them each at least one time on my way to school EVERY day. And I may or may not sometimes do sign language to the words as I go. And this may or may not attract weird looks from passersby in traffic.

I know this weekend just happened, but I want to recognize last weekend for a moment. It was awesome. Now, in my college years, it wouldn't have been classified as all that special. I got together with friends, had a good time, and had fun instead of focusing on my daily responsibilities. These days, however, that is a huge deal. Seeing my Trinity friends is a privilege now and we all get so excited when we can get together. We made a drink we found on Pinterest, played fishbowl (maybe I'll post instructions to that game on here! You all would love it), and hung out at our friends' house. Not to mention that, but I also got to reunite with some of my Teach For America friends on the night of my birthday. We cooked out, caught up on the latest of the CPS teacher's strike (hmm...maybe I'll post some of my thoughts on that later) and then went out in Lincoln Park. We finished the night in my favorite kind of way: getting food at a 24/7 diner. I had the most delish french toast I think I've ever tasted at that fine establishment.

I'm just loving that even as I live this post-grad life, I am A) still SO excited to see my college friends and have equally as much fun when I'm with them and B) still meeting new people with which to have good times. It's kind of amazing how you can connect so quickly with all kinds of people: some who are just like you and some who are NOTHING like you. Maybe I'll do another post on that whole idea too. Okay I have a lot of posts to do because I just keep thinking about all these topics I want to write on. These people made my weekend so special. Not just because it was my birthday, but because it was just simply a time when we were all together. And it is always fun when we're together.

Basically, this is what I want to express to you: Friends are good.

Chipotle after church. My kind of Sunday. 

Fishbowl in action.  

Cheers!

TFA friends. These people inspire me on the reg. 

Getting Our Twords Wisted.

Remember my roommates? We love each other, but we have an interesting approach to showing it. Some might say being considerate, patient, and cutting each other slack is a way to show that you love someone. (Read my previous post for other ways to show it.) But oh no. Not in Melvina (our house). We think that making fun of each other and SHOWING NO MERCY translates to, "I love you and you are my friend." Sarcasm and zingers reign. The best, of course, is when someone messes up their words. We do NOT let those go. We all repeat it loudly, laugh obnoxiously, and belittle the mistaker relentlessly. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen, right? Here are a few of my favorite instances of these mess-ups. I am dying as I even type it. Being the good college student that I am, I've cited my sources. No plagiarism here, just pure primary source material.

The six of us: Karyn, Mel, Karley, Susan, Lauren, and yours truly. 

While at Buffalo Wild Wings, contemplating our decision for what to order, Lauren asked, "How many guys you gonna get?"

"I need a ret wag." - Mel

"It's not an NBD!" - Karley

Mel's mom called and said, "Hey Mel!" on the phone. She replied, "Hi good!" 

This is one of my most famous repeat offenders. I must really like my transition words and say, "Furthermore, actually," in succession. Lauren had the same issue, except with adverbs: "Quickly, luckily."

"We could play splin the bottle!" - Anna 

"There's mulchable angles to this situation." - Lauren

"I don't want her to feel out left!" - Lauren

"It's been a yough rear for that." - Karley

"I have a Matt with class." - Karley

"Do you like this wed rine?" - Susan

"There was a blood of pool." - Karley

"I'm going to call your blunt." - Lauren (via our friend Neil)

"They have really good barcuebe pork sandwiches." - Karley

And my all time favorite - another Karley/barbecue quote. This one stems back to Junior year while out to eat and she said to the whole table: "You gotta get the barbecue on your sauce or else you'll get your thumbs on your face." I'm not sure what it means. I'm not sure Karley knows what it means. But I like it. 

Obviously I am going to continue to keep track of these . I've noticed that Karyn hasn't made the list yet so I'll keep close watch on that one and keep you posted. These little daily things are what I love about my house/roommates and hopefully you've been inspired to catch your friends doing the same. Yet another way to let someone know you care. 

Three Little Words

Today started like any Tuesday. I woke up after too few hours of sleep, crammed in some homework before class, ate breakfast, and got ready. I sat down in my English 375 (Advanced Writing) class four minutes before its 9:30 start. Today was a pretty normal day of class, but there was an exceptional lesson learned within the middle of it that made it memorable for me. We were talking about writing tips for our upcoming essays and how basic choices of verbs, nouns, adverbs, and adjectives strengthen our paper. We got to the slide on nouns and said that generally, the more specific the concrete noun, the better (Daisies instead of flowers, Big Mac instead of hamburger, you get it). Then we got to this:

Abstract nouns are hardest to use well. Like love. Our use of love tends to be lazy. 

Well. I know that the sentence was concerning our usage of "love" in what we write, but of course my mind started to wander. I thought that sentence perfectly describes our (or at least my) everyday life. Love is hard to use well. 

I am guilty as charged. I say "I love you Mom and Dad," in one breath and then turn around to say "Ohemgoodness I love that TV show!" in the next. I just like to love things, so I will admit my contribution to cheapening the word. But I'm not the only one guilty here, people. Now I've never said those words to someone in THE BIG WAY, but how many people have you seen say, "I LOVE YOU AHHH" all over Facebook to their significant other and then after the breakup schmear (yes I consider that to be a real word) their ex any chance they get? Or friends who say "I love you and don't know what I'd do without you!" and two months later could not care less about the well-being of that same person. Obviously hurt feelings happen and emotions run high in those situations initially, but I think with time, eventually, you have to think: 

Hey. I told that person those three little words at one point. And that wasn't just a flaky statement, that was a promise. 

I think when you say those words to someone, whether that be your boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, brother, sister, friend, roommates, teammate, or dog (haha), you are making a promise. Easy to say, hard to do. You are promising, "I'm going to always be patient with you!" and "I won't get jealous of you, won't constantly try to one-up you, and will never think of myself as more important than you!" Yikes. Those are big promises, and that's only the beginning. With those words you're also promising:

"I won't be rude to you."

"I won't expect anything back for stuff I do for you."

"I won't jump to angry conclusions with you."

"I won't keep track of stuff that you do wrong. I'll forgive you every time." 

"I'll tell you the truth and be honest with you."

"I'll protect you and your reputation when I talk to you and about you."

"I'll trust you, and trust that God has a plan for you."

"I will hope for the best for you, and always assume the best about you."

"I will always hang in there with you, and I'm always on your side." 

"I won't ever fail you. You can count on me."

Wait. So it doesn't mean "I love you, except when you mess up and I don't feel like acting like it anymore." And it doesn't mean "I love you, but when you annoy me I reserve the right to be rude and angry at your stupid habits." Shoooooot. That makes it a whole lot harder. 

But as we know, love is a hard word to use well. 

Maybe we should be more careful about using love well even though, as my professor highlighted and I've discovered, it is an arduous job. It's difficult. But I think if we can even start to chip away at living up to that list, when we stop using love in a lazy way, we start to reflect the one who loves us perfectly. And that makes it worth it. 

Because while love is a difficult noun to use well, it's the greatest noun of them all.

You Got Me (Road)Trippin'

This weekend was wonderful. Nope, didn't head into the city for a cosmopolitan adventure. Quite the contrary. My friend Dave (you met him already) who is from Spain and goes to college in St. Louis, took a bus from St. Louis to Chicago on Friday. I picked him up after my classes and we began the four-hour drive through the beautiful and interesting state of Indiana (I am being sarcastic here) down I-65 to finally reach Taylor University. An oasis of fun times in a desert of brown cornfields, gas stations, and power lines. We visited our friends Joey, Libby, Dietrich, and Ashley from our semester in Spain last spring. Man am I ever a sucker for these little get togethers!

Grammar side note. Have trouble remembering the spelling difference between dessert (the delicious food) and desert (the place where a cactus grows)? Just remember: You always want more dessert to eat. Therefore, use the DOUBLE S in that word and leave the SINGLE S for the word describing the Sahara. 

ANYWAY. Back to travel updates. Besides these people being fun because of the memories we made in Spain, they are a fun time in America also. People can be a good time no matter where they are in the world. Who knew?!

Dave, Dietrich, Ashley, myself, Libby, and Joey. After Friday Night Live. 

We started the weekend watching Dietrich (the one in the Bulls jersey above) in his college's Friday Night Live skit show. It was hilarious! We then drove around for some slushies and shenanigans. We finished the night breaking Taylor's visiting hours as we all stayed up late and reminisced about our adventures and funny stories a year ago. 

Saturday was jam packed. After sleeping in (it was GLORIOUS to wake up at 11:00!) and getting lunch, we talked at the local coffee shop (super trendy and cute). Then we went grocery shopping for dinner plans, which involved us making Tortilla de Patatas (one of our favorite Spanish foods) for ourselves and lots of their friends from Taylor. It consists of a lot of eggs, potatoes, and olive oil, just for a quick review. That was followed by attending Taylor's school play, which was really well done. After that, we hung out and talked some more before finally going to bed at 1:30. I thought I was done with my memory making at that point, but alas, while we were brushing our teeth, Ashley caught the Zooey bug from me and told me on a whim to cut her some blunt, straight across bangs. So, there in Taylor's bathroom, I used a Wal-Mart scissors to chop some bangs onto my very trusting friend. So sophisticated.

Ashley and I at Payne's coffee shop. Just like old times in our favorite café!
Oh and PS I cut my hair off last week. That happened too.  

Tortilla de Patatas and garlic bread in the works. 

Our finished product!

This weekend reinforced to me the importance of not only those big life-changing experiences, but the people who are by your side while they happen. At dinner on Saturday the new people I met at Taylor seemed to keep asking the question: What was the best part of your semester abroad? I would scroll through my mental rolodex of beautiful buildings, the fresh air on my walk to school, my backpack packed for my weekend flights to new countries, and the language and culture that I grew to know and love over four months. But I kept saying the same answer every time I got that question: It was the people I met! No matter the oceans, country roads, and state borders that separate me from all these people from Sevilla, I will always hold them dear to my heart. 

Ahhh. Great weekend. 

The Best Pintentions

For my resolutions this new year, I've recruited Pinterest to find my inspiration. For those of you not familiar, it's a website where people share cute/cool/interesting/inspirational pictures on a massive virtual bulletin board. While it can become a black hole of time-consumption and procrastination, I have also used it to find some helpful quotes for what I'm going to do differently and better this year. The pictures below line up with each of my goals. Check 'em out girl scout.

Goal #1: Listen to my own body. I do this weird self-destructive thing where I push myself to my limits for no reason. I don't eat well, don't drink enough water, am sporadic on exercising, and I wonder why I feel tired and stressed all the time. I've decided I will slow down and really assess how I feel and respond accordingly. Stressed out? Go running. Feeling sluggish? Eat some fruit and healthy protein. Desperate to keep my eyes open? Go to bed and start tomorrow with enough energy. When I do all of these things, I feel amazing. This practice will also hopefully help me finally reach my goal of weighing what I did before I went to Spain. I'm 9 pounds down, 3 to go in that effort to get back to normality. Woohoo!

Goal #2: Stay open. I want to be ready for new opportunities and adventures as they come up. I want to listen to God, my friends, and other people who present me with direction. The world is so big. And there are possibilities everywhere. And instead of responding with, "Let's sit this one out," I want to respond with an emphatic, "Let's go."

Goal #3: Practice the best kind of love.  The best kind of friendship is the kind that puts your own self and interests below the interests of others. This friendship is what makes the best kind of love. It's the kind of love that changed human history as well as my entire life. While the Disney princess posse might have us believe that romantic love is the best kind, I think they're one level too shallow. Strong, amazing relationships (romantic or not) are primarily based on a self-sacrificial friendship. That's a worthwhile way to spend a life, in my opinion. 

Goal #4: Be brave. This is a big year coming up. Heck, it's a big 5 months coming up. I have to somehow start on the path of growing up and leaving the comforts of my college years to see what I'm going to do with my life afterward. I figure I have two choices: chicken out and cry, or man up and be confident. I want to be courageous as I look for jobs, meet new contacts, and put myself out there to the adult world. My brother one time told me "Anna, we're Gesches. We can do anything." I like that attitude. 

Goal #5: Cut myself some slack, Jack. I know I might have some big ideas for my future, but I also am acutely aware of how life rarely follows the course of anyone's pre-laid plans. If things don't work out how I envisioned, I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I'm going to remind myself along the way this year that life does not always go according to Plan A. And that life more often follows plans B, C, and even sometimes you have to work your way all the way down to Plan Q. But that's what makes it fun, right?

Here's to a healthy, adventurous, devoted, brave, and unpredictable year. Let's go. 

Faux

This one's a toughy. (Yes, I'm still an English major. Yes, used the word "toughy." Pronounced TUFF-ee.)

Maybe you can relate to this one. Or maybe you surround yourself with perfectly edifying people at all hours of the day and can't relate. But here I go anyway.

You know how people can be mean sometimes. But that's kind of expected - people say mean things from time to time. I say mean things from time to time! We all do. But ever have it where it cuts to the core? It slices a little too sharply? I've decided what it is that makes certain mean things just feel meaner (I swear they will strip me of my English major yet).

It's when the comment is negative not on what you did, but who you are.

We can and should handle it when someone calls our actions into question. If your actions or behavior get called selfish, inconsiderate, annoying, gossipy, or rude, those are things that you can kind of solve yourself. Stop doing the things that make you unpleasant. Or at least work on it. That's what I think we all try to do.

But when someone attaches one of those negative words to who you are, that's another story. I recently experienced this, and I've had quite the time trying to figure out what to do with it. Someone called me a fake person. And they meant it. A fake person? You mean like a fake-baker? Ugh. Gross.

I'll give this individual some credit: they told me to my face. That's better than behind someone's back. But what to do when someone calls you a fake? And what does FAKE even mean? A knockoff? Insincere? Not genuine? Or as the French say, faux?

Nessie is totally busted. What a fake. 

While I love me a faux hawk here and there, the other words I detest. I really strive to be genuine, sincere, and all that other good stuff. I like to think I present myself like an open book. The problem was a misconception and miscommunication between myself and this person and his/her friends. And it isn't pretty to think about relationships being harmed due to lame judgements and walls being built. I think we're all supposed to love each other, but it doesn't work out that way in a lot of cases.

But what to do now? What to do when your life feels a little too similar to Mean Girls? Write a Burn Book? Nah, I've seen how that one turns out. Do I set out to try and change that individual's mind? Now that seems like it will only fail - once someone slaps a big old FAKE sign to your forehead, anything you do to change that title will just get categorized as more fake behavior. Seems like kind of a Catch 22 right? But I think that deep down I know what to do.

Let it be. Move on. Be myself. Try to see what actions of mine made that person say that to me and do my best to grow personally. Genuinely love that person and others like her/him anyway. Be thankful for the friends and family who see me for who I am. Allow this person and other people who have opinions about me to change their minds in their own time if they want. Let go of hurt feelings and bitterness, because that will only keep the walls there. It is my job to hold up my end of the friendship deal, whether it is reciprocated or not.

But I am actually almost thankful for this little experience. It wasn't pleasant, let me tell you. Still isn't. But it made me ask myself: What other labels do people attach to who you are? What labels do you assign to other people? Are you holding up your end of the friendship with people like you should? I think I've grown to be a stronger friend and person by having these questions in my head during the last little segment of my life. I've learned a little bit more about what it means to value being faithful in friendship.

And that is important. Because all this stuff about loving others, friendship, and forgiveness? That stuff is the real deal.