Stuff Students Say: January Edition

January is always a little bit rough for me in the teaching realm. You have the post-Christmas break drag to overcome, not to mention a newfound realization that you have SO MANY THINGS TO DO before your kids go off to third grade. It's a combination of a fuzzy brain, a busy schedule, and cabin-fever kids. In spite of that, though, my kids are fabulous as usual and supplied me with some great one liners. Here are this month's gems:

(Said on January 12.)

Wait...Christmas break is over?

My mom wants me to get a drink of water I think. Or she would want me to go get a drink of water. Because I'm thirsty and she doesn't want me to be thirsty. So can I go do that?

If she's the principal's wife does that make her the vice principal?

(Talking about the temptation of Jesus and how he was fasting in the desert.)

Me: What does it mean to fast?

Student: It means to lay off the sugar. 

I wish this day could last forever! I don't want to go home! On the other hand, we would get really tired.

I have a neck injury. Therefore, may I please go to the bathroom?

I lost my sock. I'm off to survey the premises.

(After conquering the task of decoding hard words during Guided Reading)

I feel so powerful!

I want to live in second grade forever! 

Mrs. Whartnaby I lost my sock. I'm off to survey the premises.

Our Unit Benchmark Test, there was a Reading Response that asked the students to think of a time they had a problem and what they did to solve it. A girl in my class raised her hand and said:

I have never had a real problem before. What do I do for this question? I can't answer it. 

#firstworldproblems 

We are reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and when Veruca Salt went down the garbage chute, someone yelled out: 

She just got SERVED!