Stuff Students Say: January Edition

So I'm 3 days late. I have to explain: I was all set to post this on Friday the 31st of January, but alas, the lake-effect snow in Michigan forced me to drive up early for what was supposed to be a Saturday drive up to Grand Rapids for my girl Ann Marie's wedding. Brian and I ended up going up to GR straight after school on Friday and had the privilege to be hosted by none other than Liz VanDrunen. She's the best, people. The best. But anyway, because of that, you get your quotes 3 days late. I hope you're excited because this batch is worth the wait. 

Ms. Gesch I wish you had a kid and then she could come sit in the classroom with me and be my buddy. 

After I told my kids that I got engaged over Christmas break...

So you pregnant Ms. Gesch?

Me: No, I'm engaged. That means that I'm going to be married soon. 

But then you have a baby in your stomach?

Me: No, I am not going to have a baby. I am going to get married. That means I'll have a husband. 

I still think that means you got kids. 

Students were asked to use their sight words in a sentence. One of my favorite kids, asked to use the word "but" in a sentence, yelled out proudly:

I have a big butt.

I am going to make these squirrels out the window sing again and again.

After I spoke with a parent about a field trip permission slip.

Student: Were you talking to my mama on the phone just now? What did she say about me? Is she going to whoop me now when I get home?

After reading a biography about MLKJ…

So Martin Luther was a principal? In a school? 

To a student who came to school after missing a day:

Me: Were you sick yesterday? We missed you! 

Student: Nah I wasn't sick. My mom just forgot to wash my uniform so she said forget it.

Student: Ms. Gesch you love God?

Me: Yes I do.

Student: I knew it. Me too. Do you know that Satan has power? But God has more power than the devil so it's all gonna be okay. 

During our Monday share of what happened over the weekend:

Over the weekend I had a dream that I was running from a lot of turkeys who were trying to eat me.

Student: Over the weekend I watched Black Men 3. 

Me: Do you mean Men in Black 3?

Student: Oh yeah, that's it. 

Ms. Gesch I love you so much I'm going to buy you White Castle tomorrow. 

Student 1: If I had 100 dollars I would buy juice. 

Student 2: If I had 100 dollars I would spend it on a girl. 

Me: Does anyone know what the word comprehension means?

Student: It's a state!

Me: I think you might be thinking of California.

Student: Well then my mom's been lying.