Row Your Boat

On Friday night this weekend Reese, Thomas, Brian, and I went to see Divergent in theaters for its opening night. (First off, I LOVED IT. I read a few reviews that complained about timing, but I thought they pulled it off perfectly. Tris and Four were awesome.) Besides the great movie, I got to sit next to Thomas, a great friend, and had a quick conversation that had me thinking about it long afterward. Thomas is one of those people from my college years who has the gift and talent of friendship. This kid will always be a good friend to people, and that is truly a cool kind of person. He asked me, "How's it going?" And I said, "It's fine, you know." And he said, "But yeah, how are you really doing?" And that of course, was the question that got us into the conversation. The one that always comes up when you ask one another, after college, how are you really doing?

We laughed about that question and came up with this kind of funny metaphor for our lives, and somehow Titanic seemed to fit. We spent four years in college, living fun lives, going to parties, making plans, sleeping in, and wasting time. We were on the big boat, without a care in the world. Then graduation hit, the boat sank, the party was over, and off we went into the dark, deep unknown. Each on our own little lifeboat. The friends we had aren't living next door or in the bunk below you, the workload has quintupled or sometimes septupled, and the schedule of working more-than-full-time is overwhelming. You stay in touch with your friends as best you can, by the little ways, but those little ways often include the social media methods, giving you the idea that other people are glamorously, beautifully, joyously, richly, living their lives to the fullest as free, happy, young twentysomethings. It's easy to look at all that from your little lifeboat and feel like you're the only one in a big, scary ocean.

 But then, Thomas pointed out that, from his perspective, he saw me doing things like moving to the city alone, working in a crazy career, all while going to grad school, which made it seem to him like I was being brave and living an exciting life. It made me remember two things. First, it made me remember that not everyone sees the piles of unfinished laundry, the empty refrigerator, and dark circles under my eyes like I do. Second, it made me remember to give myself a break, to remember that sometimes I am brave, and to keep on keeping on. My life's not perfect, but it's happening! It's going! Things are moving along, I'm learning, I'm working, I'm serving, and I'm making small little accomplishments along the way. Don't let yourself forget that, Anna.

I think we can all give one another a break. Not everyone is always glamorous, happy, or in a room full of friends. Everyone has a bad day and everyone is figuring out this whole working world thing. Everyone's rowing along in their own little lifeboat, just like you. I also think we can give ourselves a break. Unfinished laundry can mean making up new outfits, empty refrigerators can mean some fantastic Thai takeout, and there's always concealer for those under-eye dark circles from the lack of sleep. Give grace to one another and give grace to yourself. 

Because we aren't on the big boat anymore. We aren't living in the illusion that next weekend or the next party is all that there is. We're in our little lifeboats now, but it's better this way. I'd rather live this life out in the deep dark unknown, rowing along, not because it's always glamorous, but because it's real. It's no longer a frivolous life, and it's no longer boringly superficial. Finally, out on this lifeboat, life has become a little more significant.

We have to keep on rowing our boat. And I suppose even if we fall overboard from time to time, then we'll have to just keep swimming. Off into the waters, moving forward and making waves.

You Better Believe It

So I noticed the date this past Sunday. It has been a YEAR since I graduated from college and I absolutely cannot believe it. I’m an adult! (Yep, read that sentence just like you SNL-lovers all read it.)

That feels wrong. It feels wrong to say that I’m an adult because I honestly have no idea how to change the oil in my car. I feel like that’s something adults should be able to do, and I don’t know how to do it. I feel like a 14-year-old trying to fly under the radar and hope nobody notices that I’m playing hooky from 7th period only to send me back from whence I came. I usually feel like a complete imposter in this adult world post-graduation.

 Last week, however, I had someone at work pay me the compliment that they were surprised that I was 23. They thought that I acted more like a “27-year-old or something”, not a newbie right out of the gate. I have to say, I took a moment to note the statement. It’s not everday you feel like that at work in your first year of teaching. And during that one small moment of satisfaction it dawned on me how I’ve managed to stay afloat in the adult world. The secret lies in these six words:

Fake it ‘til you make it.

 You’ve heard it before, but it is the single most helpful phrase to shake off those I’m-an-inadequate-fresh-piece-of-meat-who-has-no-clue-how-to-function-in-the-real-world blues. It’s kind of been my mantra since August 1st, when I, who had no business educating in the neediest of school districts in the country, was in charge of the 2nd-grade-fates of 23 children. I had never been in an education class, let alone did I know what a 7-year-old even looked like. I didn’t know what “best practices” were for teaching and I had no freaking CLUE what RTI or IEP or PLC meant. But if I could give any advice to fresh graduates or young adults who feel like they’re in over their heads in the working world, I’m telling you to just go ahead and fake it.

Start telling yourself that you are competent, successful, and independent, and you will start to become those things. The famous George Costanza once said, “It’s not a lie if you believe it,” and to be honest I’m starting to think there’s more wisdom there than I initially thought.

Believe all the things you want to believe about yourself. Need to go to church alone for the first time? Just believe that that’s what normal people do and march right up that aisle with Starbucks in tow. Have no clue what the educational term your advisor just used in an email actually means? Google it and reply as if you knew all along. Need to navigate a weird new city with psycho drivers? Simply believe you can merge with the best of them, check the mirrors often, hang on tight, and go to town up that freeway. Afraid to walk up the steps to your apartment by yourself? Believe you are a badass girl, check up and down the street, ready the keys between your knuckles just in case, and get inside without a sweat. Not sure what is going on at work? Believe that you are one of the most competent people in the room and present yourself that way. Stay engaged, take notes, dress more professionally than you should, participate when you can at staff meetings, and be a positive energy in the room – don’t be the new girl cowering shyly in the corner. This sounds so silly; it’s an odd idea to take extra care to go at the everyday things of life with an intentional gusto, but it works. It starts to rub off on your subconscious and you start to actually become a brave, smart, independent person.

My best days of teaching are those days when I believe I’m a good teacher. My best experiences with behavior management are when I make it clear to my kids that I am an adult who will not back down.

My most fun social gatherings with new friends happen when I believe I’m a fun person whom people will like.

 My most successful days of grad school are those when I believe I’m an energetic person after a long day of teaching, ready to learn something cool and new. They’re the days when I’m highlighting, note-taking, raising my hand, and forcing myself to nod my head.

 If you go through the motions of a confident person, you start to be that confident person. The more adults I meet in this work world, the more I realize we’re all the insecure 22-year-olds at heart; it’s not just you and me. This year I’ve seen 56-year-old professors get completely flustered in front of a classroom only to have everyone take a 20 minute break, I’ve seen school leaders break down into tears because of stress from district pressures, and I’ve seen coworkers say how they feel left out of the social scene at work. We’re all fighting feelings of inadequacy. Some people have just mastered the art of believing that they can. And so they can.

Believe me, for every one day I feel like an actual adult, there are seven others where I feel like a complete loser. I recently just wrote about the necessity to be real about your struggles and your difficult days. You need not always be an impenetrable wall of confident thinking and optimism. I just have found that, when put in sink-or-swim scenarios (and I can quite confidently say that was my scenario this past year), turn to confidence before you turn to cowardice.

This year has taught me that when they throw you in the pool before you learn how to tread water, tell yourself to swim, no, COMMAND yourself to swim, and you WILL. 

 Just don’t tell anyone you still need your rubber-ducky-arm-floaties to do it.

Cominatchya!

Really long sidenote: Today, I wore leggings as pants for a few hours. Not because it was a fashion statement by any means (I can't stand when girls do that), but because that's what I wore to bed last night with an old State Farm Insurance t-shirt and proceeded to run errands in my pajamas after waking up this morning. Also, since I had gone about my busywork throughout the day sans showering, I just kept with the grossness and decided a run would make me smell even better. As I made my way around town and back to my country roads, I started to daydream and did not see the huge branch of leaves from the maple tree on a passing lawn. I proceeded to run directly into it, getting a face full of leaves. I reacted as though I had been electrocuted and flailed in all awkward directions, only to look up and see the old man across the street who was checking his mail start to laugh at me. 


ANYWAY...


Down to business. Teach for America is COMING UP SOON and I am continually doing things to get ready for it. I have "To-Do" items to cross off each and every day in addition to the never-ending packing/unpacking process I have as the aftermath of living away at college for four years. First, here's a  few facts about what it means to be in Teach For America:

- I'm not an education major, but I will be teaching!
- Teach For America employs the philosophy that it is important to have leaders in teaching positions for underachieving classrooms
- I will get my teaching certification/licensing through classes at Dominican University in Chicago
- I am officially a 2012 Chicago Corps Member, which basically means I am in this year's "class" of TFA people who are beginning their two-year commitments to teaching through this program

Here's a little timeline for what's coming up for me:

JUNE 13: Induction.
This is like FYF for you Trinity people, or Orientation for any other normal person. It takes place at IIT (Illinois Institute of Technology) where I'll move in and live for about 5-6 weeks for the Institute training time that follows. These first few days are what get us in the mindset for our training. I'm going to venture a guess that it will be ENTHUSIASTIC and FULL OF ACTIVITIES with lots of SMILING CAMP-COUNSELOR TYPES FACILITATING GROUP DYNAMICS! Believe me, I know. I'm a card-carrying camp-counselor-hyperactive-group-activity girl from my high school and college years. The get-to-know-you games will be in abundance, I can only imagine. Better start thinking of my "one interesting fact" right now. Maybe I'll go with my mad hula hoop skillz that last for hours. Or the fact that I can say the alphabet backwards. Those are my two go-to interesting facts.

JUNE 17: Institute.
This is where we get down to the nitty gritty. Training and summer school teaching. I'll be getting on a bus at about 6:00 AM with a packed lunch, teaching little children important things, heading back on a bus in the evening, lesson planning until late, crashing in bed, and repeating. This is our "student teaching," if you will. Since TFA (get used to that abbreviation and many others. sorry.) uses alternative licensing programs for their corps members (remember, we are mostly non-education majors) during this time I will also begin classes at Dominican University for my certification. As if I needed something to fill up all that spare time I'll be having, right?

August 1: First Day of School at LEARN
HOLY COW. That date is coming up very quickly, in my mind. Before this day I'll take part in an orientation for my specific school, the LEARN Network's Campell campus, and figure out what grade I'm teaching as well as my classroom setup. I can fill you in on that more later of what that really looks like. As of now, I'm praying for peace and confidence and energy and gusto as I look ahead to start the school year on the right foot.

So, there you have it. The blueprint of my summer. (I didn't include all the weddings, though, I didn't want to overwhelm you.) Until June 13, I am maddeningly getting my life/stuff in order, working on Institute pre-work and pre-reading (of which there is about 40-50 hours), and slowly trying to work out a living situation (say a prayer!). Don't worry, I'm leaving plenty of time for Jeopardy each night. Of course. It's going to be a crazy but awesome summer!

Photo evidence that I am actually making headway
on going through my stuff. This is all off to Goodwill; hopefully
many more trips to the thrift store are coming up! 

Nocturnal

I'm sort of proving my own point by writing this post. It is 12:33 AM and I decided to pick up my lappy and write a nice little blog post. Stupid George Michael! (That was for all you Arrested Development fans out there.)

Let's start out by saying I don't live up to my name very well. Having Gesch as a last name carries a lot of implications. I think very good and redeeming implications for the most part. We're a German bunch that tends to be very punctual, practical,  talkative, and disciplined. There also seems to be an early bird gene that has been associated with my last name. Probably goes along with that whole "Let's be eighty hours early to everything" deal my family has going on. Well, I'm not sure what happened there, but my early bird gene was bullied to death by the night owl gene and that was that. That poor bird was KO-ed in the first round and never had a chance. Those dueling birds and owls, it can get dangerous I tell you. I've been the last one awake at every sleepover as a child, pushing my bedtime back to do one more thing, and sleeping through early alarms with the best of them since 1989. My natural tendency to be awake at night, paired with my sleep habits in the past four years at college have set me up pretty poorly for adulthood. 

Granted, I just had kind of a whirlwind and off-schedule weekend anyways. It began by celebrating my roommate Susan's bachelorette party complete with an entourage of 14 on a coach bus riding through town. SO MUCH FUN. But when that night ended at 3:30 AM, the next few days didn't really stand much of a chance. I had dinner with my babysitting family (Mel, Karley, and I have been adopted by an awesome mom of four during our time at Trinity) tonight in the Chicago area and now I am finally home again in Wisconsin, watching the replay of today's Jeopardy episode. 

To me, the perfect schedule would involve waking up at 9:00 AM, taking a three hour nap beginning at 2:00 PM, waking up at 5:00 PM and going to sleep again for the night at 3:00 AM. Rinse and Repeat. Wait a minute...that is my EXACT schedule from my semester in Spain! Maybe it's a sign I need to go back. (Yep. It is.) Plus, night owls have more fun! Most fun things happen at night anyways! And who wants to wake up at 5:00 AM with a raspy voice all morning? (Maybe this is my personal problem; my voice doesn't get back to normal until after noon. Before that I sound like Chuck the neighborhood bus driver.) But alas, the early birds have that whole "I'm a real responsible human being" aspect that is oh so valuable in this world of employment I'm learning actually does exist. 

The night owl thing may work out in the dream world of studenthood in Sevilla, but does NOT work out too well in the real world where you want to be a healthy, productive adult who contributes positive things to society. Especially not for a teacher. Institute for Teach for America is looming on the horizon with a rigorous (early!) schedule, followed by the insanity that will be my first year of teaching and I need to start getting with it. I must man up (maybe I should say woman up?) and realize that all of my goals: being healthy, working hard, being great at my job, being responsible with my spiritual life and friendships, all could be greatly improved by normal sleeping schedules. These next few months will take serious discipline from me to change this routine. Hopefully you'll see more posts from 6:00 AM instead of 1:00 AM. You can help keep me accountable.

Now, before bed, let's read a few more chapters in my book, browse Pinterest for awhile, and re-do my nail polish. 

Perspective

Graduation has passed, and life is moving on along. Between my full-time job of official American Idol and Dancing With the Stars commentator with my parents (don't you dare judge me), I am beginning to actually check things off the list in preparation for my job at a charter school and Teach For America. I've been neglecting THE LIST for some time now, and it needed to be addressed now that finals are through.

But a rabbit trail first. Okay. Sue me if you disagree, whatever. But is it just me or did American Idol get way softer? All the judges are big gummy teddy bears and never say anything remotely critical other than, "Yo dawg, for me...it was aiggght." Since when did RANDY become the BAD GUY? That is the worst they can come up with. What happened to the days of Simon bringing a girl to tears for hitting a wrong note, then crossing his arms over his skin-tight t-shirt in disgust at her emotional weakness? In tonight's episode I heard like eighty flat pitches and a bunch of lyric mess-ups and nothing. Nada. Zip. All sunshine and happiness from the panel of judges. Obviously, Steven Tyler has no idea what's going on around him anyway. But Randy and J-Lo, I'm disappointed! I mean, I'm all about positivity, but let's be honest when that chick doesn't hit her notes! It's okay to be honest! Okay, okay. I get it. Too much reality television for Anna. I need to find a book. 

Back to THE LIST of shtuff. (I like to say it shtuff...sounds more Yiddish to me. Why that matters to a non-Jew like myself? Not sure.) There is THE LIST of to-do items. I've dedicated myself to jumping through these flaming hoops with thorough, punctual efforts. I take great pride in jumping through said hoops with little complaint. But. Then yesterday happened. I hit a wall.

For a solid 5 hours straight, I worked through financial plans, background checks, fingerprinting, online HR websites that malfunctioned for the 6th time, exchanging long e-mails with Frank from customer support at said HR website, HMOs, PPOs, retirement plans, apartment searching, roommate hunting (....anyone? anyone? Bueller?), transcript ordering, e-mail responding, and hair-ripping-outing.

Blech. I was ready to barf. Then it turned out that I had to spend today driving 2.5 hours each way to Chicago for a 15 minute meeting with a guy who took my fingerprints.

But. Alas. This is life. 

Life is annoying sometimes. Life is messy. Life puts you through four different voicemail systems and hangs up on you at the end of the 20-minute muzak track. Life makes you navigate through construction zones to find no-tow parking lots in the city. Life makes you wait in line at the DMV. Life has details that you just need to man up and figure out. Life is full of this stuff (shtuff, if you will). And it is only the beginning for me, especially as a newbie in both the adult world and education world. I've thought about how I got overwhelmed yesterday morning since it happened and got sort of disappointed in myself for getting so frustrated at the annoying details. I've come up with two solutions for myself, and they've worked well for me in the last 48 hours.

Solution 1: GO TO SLEEP.

My favorite activity, ever. This is always helpful. After sleeping on anything I have more clarity. It's great to get distance from whatever you're contemplating in order to sort it out. Sleep has a beautiful way of taking the edge off of angry arguments, tedious bureaucracies, and stressful workloads. It just helps. If sleep is not an option, of course, I have another for you.

Solution 2: GET PERSPECTIVE.

Take one minute. One single minute. Back it up. And remember why you are doing what you are doing. Why you are living your life and who you are living it for. I did this today whilst stuck in traffic. It was wonderful. Why am I running around like a crazy zombie trying to get fingerprints, apartments, budgets, credit cards, direct deposit, benefit packages, and eight million e-mails all accomplished? Because I am blessed to have a job that will teach me not only about myself and others but how I can use my abilities to love and help a broken world. Simple as that. When I remember that, I get perspective. I take one minute to remember WHY the heck I'm doing what I'm doing, and it's all a whole lot simpler. And happier. Of course living in the moment is wonderful (here is a big reason why), but the big-picture perspective is necessary for those individual moments to be enjoyed. In order to not get bogged down and drown in the details, you need to always stay afloat on your noodle of perspective. (See how I worked that metaphor in there? Yeah, I have a Bachelor's in English. That's what I'm using it for.) That one minute of perspective changed my attitude for the next few hours.

I laughed at my laptop when I read this. What great perspective. 

Obviously, nobody lives stress-free. This stuff happens. But I want to do my best to lead a life of joy, even in the midst of the little crap that I'm tempted to allow to bother me. And when all else fails, of course, I think I'll just take a nap. 

Endings and Beginnings

It happened.

I graduated college. Say whaat?! It is insane to even say. But it happened! And I am so happy!

The cousins!

On Saturday I walked across the stage and officially became an Alum of Trinity Christian College. The weather did not cooperate at all, but it helped to make the day unforgettable. We had a magnificent lady, Donnita Travis, as a speaker. She is the founder of a really cool organization for kids in Chicago (who knows, maybe we'll be working for some of the same people!). She gave a speech entitled "It's the little things you do, not the big things you say," and ended her talk with a resolute "GO GET 'EM!" which I thought was awesome! (Note to self: do that when you give graduation speeches.) I think I wouldn't mind getting lunch with this lady sometime. Then I grabbed my diploma and called it a day! 

Mi familia. Good lookin' crew, if I do say so myself. 

The whole morning was a blur. I kept looking around at my fellow classmates and thinking to myself, "How are we all here right now? How did we get to this point? Are we really in these hats and gowns right now?" It was one of those out-of-body things. We ended the day running around trying to get pictures in between downpours and navigating the chaos of all those people on our little campus. 

Daddio.

I left the event kind of all over the place, but the one thought I kept coming back to was this is a huge deal. This will be one of those days that I'll forever look back on as a watershed in my life. 

It's a lot of endings. The end of my college life and the amazing memories that define these four years. The end of my education (for now). The end of living with my five best friends. The end of my undergrad classes. The end of taking 3 hour naps in the middle of the afternoon. (I shall miss those with all my heart, believe me.) The end of familiarity. The end of this little comfort zone. The end of a lot of hard work. 

But it's also a lot of beginnings. The beginning of the "real world." The beginning of educating others. The beginning of my journey at Teach For America. The beginning of making new friends and living in a new city (no, attending Trinity does not qualify as living in Chicago). The beginning of growing up and becoming more independent. The beginning of going to sleep and waking up early. The beginning of uncertainty. The beginning of a huge new challenge and adventure. 

Siblings, laughing at Dad trying to take a picture. This is the 5th try. He's an expert. 

So. As I'm starting to prepare for Teach for America's Institute (more on the details of my job through Teach For America will come later) and search for a roommate and apartment (anybody wanna live with me on the west side? I'll make you cookies?), it is cool to keep in mind that I've reached this point - I've made it to this huge milestone. I'm really proud of myself. I'm really humbled at how blessed my life has been. I'm really anxious at the thought of how the next few years are going to turn out. But really excited too. All the great stories have a little bit of mystery. That's what makes them great! 

So what shall we do? Where do we go from here after such a big day? I think there's just one option: Let's go get 'em!! 

Teach For America

Well, friends, I got some big news today! I know, I know. You're usually dying to hear more interesting things, like the outfits I wore this week and ways that I make fun of my roommates. But it's not everyday that you get grownup future plans falling into place, so I have to share! I've been waiting for March 6 for awhile now.

Why, you ask?

Today I found out that I am accepted as a Teach For America  2012 corps member! I've been placed in Chicago and am slotted for teaching K-8 Language Arts. I'll get more specific information about school placement and exactly what classes as time goes on.

I submitted my application for the January 6 deadline, did a phone interview three weeks after that, and went through a final in-person interview at Loyola downtown on February 15 (you saw my interview outfit in this post.) Since then, I knew that 7:00 p.m. on March 6, 2012 was going to be a pretty important time for me. Throughout the process, I've filled in millions of forms, read lots of articles, and researched the work that TFA does. It's an awesome and effective program.

For tonight, I'm throwing myself a small party with this blog post. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to take a few days to truly figure out what my placement looks like and pray about my next move. I have an initial hunch that I will say "YES!" to the offer, as well as keeping my eyes open for every opportunity that presents itself in the next few months. As options like this come up I am reminded of how good God is to me, every day. It really blows me away. He knows what I need before I even tell him! I have a feeling I'll write more on that stuff in the near future, but for now, I'm just happy for some good news! Come over to Melvina and I'll give you a high five to celebrate!

Ensems

Yep, short for ensembles. Deal with the abbrevs. They probably aren't going anywhere, although I may have to keep them for my secret personal life when I grow up and become profesh. I mean professional. Here's the latest outfit post. By the way, halfway through this set of outfits I chopped ALL of my hair off.

Well not all of it, but half of it. I had an interview (waiting to hear back!) and thought my planned outfit would look cuter with shorter hair. So, the day before I called up a salon and took care of it. My compulsive decision making process is fun at times, dangerous at other times. Don't let me watch G.I. Jane or I'll get some funny haircut ideas that I KNOW I'll regret.

For now, I'm loving the shorter hair (that's finally healthy and split-end free!) plus all those minutes I save on drying it every day because it goes so much faster now. I figured out how this haircut will get me employed and lead to a successful career:

Shorter hair = less time to get ready = more sleep = happier Anna = winning personality = more hire-able candidate = eighty job offers = competitive salaries = new hobby of taking cannonballs into my pools of money. Right? Math was never my thing, but that seems pretty logical to me.

Still loving the boots.  

Ahh. Still with the long hair. 

My brother Alex got me this sweater for Christmas!
Good taste, brah. Good taste. 

The bottom of those jeans got really
slushy and soggy that day. It was a good try. 

Annnd haircut. Oooo Aaaaaah. 

H&M blazer, Forever 21 shirt,
Banana Republic skirt, Gap flats. (All cheap!)

All my pics get overexposed in the backyard. 

That scarf is cute but SO itchy. I was
DYING by the time class was over. 

Purple tights my mom got me for Christmas
sophomore year. And my favorite pair of shoes from Spain. 

Babysat in this outfit and got one big drool
splotch spanning down and affecting each
different item of clothing. Talented kids! 

Meet my Sambas. Hands down
all-time favorite shoes, ever.

Apparently I like to protest things to the camera,
which is on a self-timer. #Bloggerproblems

My "Grandma-Gesch" outfit, because she would
have worn every single thing of this outfit. I was,
you know, going for "geriatric chic."

Wind. Tyra is so jealous. 

Realizing I rock a lot of tights. Newest pair!

The Dilemma

I've been worrying about this little guy for awhile. He's been around for over a year and he's super cute. I kinda love him and don't want him to ever leave. But alas, they say he could keep me from getting a job.

In Park Guell up in Barcelona last March

Yep, I'm talking about my eyebrow piercing. That little guy is one of my favorite things. I'm not usually one to do rebellious things with my appearance - my hair has never been dyed, I didn't catch the goth wave, and the thought of getting a tattoo freaks me out completely for three reasons: 1. I don't like permanent things 2. I don't like pain and 3. Needles freak me out. So last year, before becoming a broad abroad, I decided to just do something I wouldn't normally do. I figured it would only last a few months, right? So I grabbed Mel, Lauren, and Karley, who bravely watched me get stabbed in the face a few nights before I hopped on that plane. No, it didn't hurt all that bad. No, the world didn't end when I called my mom to tell her the news that I got it. And no, I didn't fall into a nail somehow, I did it on purpose.

And here I am a year later, filling out applications for jobs and knowing that the inevitable might have to happen. The dilemma remains: to keep or not to keep the eyebrow thing? (Hamlet's mode of questioning works for any situation: To study or not to study? To shower or not to shower? To eat the red velvet cupcakes leftover from the super bowl party, or NOT to eat the red velvet cupcakes leftover from the super bowl party? These are the deep questions of a college senior, my friends.)

I might have to get rid of him. I've heard mixed reviews: from "It actually helped me get my job," and "It shows your confidence in who you are Anna!" to "That's so unprofessional,"and "People won't ever take you seriously." Well, I think the answer is probably somewhere in the middle. Yes, my personality and presence more than makes up for the presence of a tiny piece of metal. But no, I don't want to give someone any doubt of why I wouldn't be the best hire around. I like hearing the various views on this topic as they are usually very different from person to person. The job interview world is a new one that I plan on crashing soon.

So I'll have to figure out how to reconcile my love for this little guy and my love for the idea of being gainfully employed. With a fairly important interview looming in my near future (yowza!) his days just might be numbered. Maybe. We'll see.