Little Boxes

(Random title, i know...an oldie but a goodie.)

So I was thinking. I'm kind of in this weird phase.

I am a senior in college, and let me clarify that a bit: a small, Christian college. I love this experience and have had some of the best years of my life here. Ugh, it makes me really sad to think that my time here is going to end sooner rather than later. But I digress.

In this small Christian college, it's like a different world. Don't get me wrong, it's a cool world. You have all these fun friends around you who are in the same ballpark concerning culture, faith, and background. We aren't a big, rich, party school so I'm not so worried about wearing designer clothes or trying to Jersey-Shore myself up to look cool (yes, I just made Jersey-Shore a verb). I can simply be myself, which is an awesome thing. But a certain part of this little world I've inhabited for the past 3+ years leaves me a little empty. It's the comfort zone.

Let me ask you this: Do you ever feel like your comfort zone is TOO comfortable? I think for the past three years I've lived in that zone a little too easily.

But I'm starting to feel not quite as at home in that little circle anymore. It might sound weird to say this, but being comfortable now feels uncomfortable to me.

One example. Just about every time I get on Facebook, new tiny pink engagement hearts announce a wedding that's happening next summer. I love weddings. I love love. So this is exciting, both for them as people and for me as a supporter and friend. But I'm a 22-year-old girl living in that little circle, and I don't have a little pink heart on my profile in this particular year, my senior year. That makes me the exception to the rule in the small Christian college world. But I think that's alright. I think I like that small portion of me that is foreign in this little circle that I'm from.

I've skipped outside of that circle before. Spain was a huge jump out of that neat little circle. But now I've been back home again for a good chunk of time and I find myself looking at the inner walls of the circle, wondering how on earth I got back here.

And let me just say: you don't need to be across an ocean to get out of the circle. It's not about where you are living, it's about how you are living. What about seeking out people different than myself? What about places I've never explored? What about a new style I haven't tried? What about a story I haven't heard? What about LOVING life each second, even those seconds when I'm waking up and going to class, making dinner, living in my house, and writing my papers? What about looking for goodness in every moment I live? What about looking for the goodness in every person I know?

I don't think that I am content to just live in a little box made out of ticky tacky. I don't think, deep down, that any of us are. We all need something more than the safety of the circle. We need adventure, and although we each find it in different ways and places, we still need it.

And finally, the biggest comfort-zone-pusher I can think of: What about finding ways to have a heart to love people when they do not seem to deserve it? Or show love back to you?

I think that's the most daring adventure of them all.