Dear Trinity

The following is a letter I was asked to write for our newspaper, The Courier, as sort of a fun little "farewell" to working for the paper and the school. It's easy to laugh and be my usual sarcastic self like in this letter, but with graduation four days away I'm thinking how much this place has meant to me for the past four years. I'm a lucky girl. For now, enjoy the sarcasm :) 

My Dearest Trinity,

It's been a good time, to say the least.

Thanks for holding back on South Hall renovations. It made my freshman year that much better. She has a sort of character, with all the weird smelling carpets and lack of air conditioning and what not. It also made me feel a lot less guilty when we covered our friends' dorm room downstairs in rotting leaves freshman year. It was a very conducive atmosphere for pranking and I really appreciate your consideration of our extracurricular activities.

I'm really allegedly sorry about allegedly climbing the library roof that one time with my friends and making the security guard run after us. That must've been embarrassing for him, if it happened. I can neither confirm nor deny the truth-value of this apology, but I'm allegedly sorry nonetheless.

Thanks for being conveniently located near Nonna's Pizza and Windy City Subs. It was so thoughtful of you to consider my 2 a.m. mealtime. You are always thinking of me like that. What a good friend.

Thanks for having a Varsity Girl’s Soccer Team. For without the Varsity team, there would be no JV team, and I’m pretty sure half of my soul would die if there were no JV soccer team. I appreciate how you let us dominate local community colleges and for also recruiting hilarious girls to hang out with me at 6 in the morning. That was so nice of you.

Thanks for hiring Bob Rice. Good call there. I think you should probably name the classroom building after him or something. That building doesn’t even have a name anyway. Look, I’m giving these ideas out for free here.

I think I’ll miss you, friend. I really will. But here’s some advice: keep paying lots of scholarship money to cool people so they come here, because you have excellent taste in students. You should also triple the newspaper’s budget because, let’s be honest, The Courier is obviously more important than some old building project for a new gym or whatever that silly little TARC thing is you have going on down by that “East Parking Lot,” or whatever it is you call it these days. You should probably make the semester in Spain mandatory for every student. Just saying. Keep the sandwich line lady well employed and happy because she is awesome. 

And stay classy. I know you always do.

Much love,

Anna Gesch