Stuff Students Say: May Edition

Well y'all, we've reached June! The 19th is so stinking close I can feel it. I am planning on being the happiest person alive on that day. I'll let you know how it feels in two and a half weeks. For now, I have some fresh material for you. May was a fruitful month for the SSS installment of my blog. Sit back, read, and soak it in.

The girls can't get enough of this face.
(Referencing his success with the ladies. The seven-year-old ladies.)

He was reading a book of poems and came upon one in particular...
Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a TUB?! That's completely inappropriate!

Picture of the chubby character in Peter Pan was shown to the class...
Hey Hey Hey! That must be Fat Albert!

Ms. Gesch you know that song that talks about how you are so beautiful to me can't you seeeee? Well when I sing it I mean it about you.

Student: MSSSSSSSS. GESCCCHHHHHHH!
Me: Do you think I want you to be screaming in my face right now?
Student: I mean yeah I think you like it a little.

Said on the first hot day outside at dismissal...
I'm gonna burn up like a hot wing on the STOVE! 

Me: What do you want to perform for our school's talent show?
Student (in song): I'M EVERY WOMANNNN!!
(That student is a male.)

Looking at Lake Michigan...
Student: Oh look at all that water Ms. Gesch! Are they sharks in there?! 
Me: No sharks live in there. This is actually a Lake, it's not an ocean. You can swim in it whenever you'd like.
Student: Okay so then you're telling me that crocodiles live in there?!

(At the Shedd Aquarium, screamed at an otter through the tank glass)
Shake that booty you seal!!!

Student: These dolphins, they just be playing all day long? Ain't they gotta do no work?
Me: No, they're animals, so they just swim and eat and sleep.
Student: People just don't make them work because they so cute.

I want to be a police officer when I grow up because then I could pull all y'all over.

Ooooo you guys Ms. Gesch is about to lose her patience! I can see it in her eyes!

Ms. Gesch. It's my stomach. He's telling me he's hungry. He wanted me to tell you that.