Sweet Home Chicago

I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but this weekend was the first time Chicago really felt something like home.

Friday night I got home from parent-teacher conferences at 7:00 and the fun began. I got to go to The Second City to see their mainstage show. Honestly, this is a small dream come true in and of itself. I absolutely love Tina Fey, Steve Carrell, and others who started there and have been intrigued by improv/stand-up since my Jerry Seinfeld fangirl days as a little kid. It was absolutely hilarious. They definitely used the annoying political jokes as a crutch, but all the other more original stuff was great. Part of me wants to quit everything and do that with my life. And then I remember that I'm not that funny. And that I have a bad case of stage fright. So I'll stick with admiring and laughing at those who are.

Saturday is really when this whole love affair with Chicago set in. I woke up and my roommates were gone and had the day/apartment to myself. I had hot apple cider and toast in my pajamas and watched some netflix as I woke up. It was bliss. There I was, sitting in the apartment that I pay the rent for myself, eating food that I bought myself, enjoying a weekend off from the real adult job that I actually do myself. I know that sounds horribly narcissistic, but to finally realize that you have some note of self-sufficiency after 23 years of being a kid/student dependent on my parents to keep me alive, that felt pretty good. Let's be honest, at the first sign of car trouble I still call my dad for advice. At the first stage of planning a trip I get my mom on the phone for plane ticket tips. When I need a copy of my social security card scanned and e-mailed to whoever needs it, Lord knows my mother helps me out with that stuff to this day. But just knowing that I'm not a completely helpless brat made me feel somewhat accomplished. Like I had somehow earned the right to sit down and be lazy for two hours on a Saturday morning.

My lovely view from the couch.  

Since I made a really drastic decision this summer to run a 15k (SERIOUSLY WHAT WAS I THINKING) the first weekend of November, I thought I'd get off the couch and get a long run in when I finally had some free time in the daylight. To start things off, it was absolutely beautiful outside. Perfect 50 degree fall day. Changing leaves and all. I set out and decided to just go for a long time. That's the only plan I had. The first few blocks in my neighborhood were full of friendly waves and "good afternoons" to passersby. Very Sesame Street.

So I set out and headed downtown from my apartment and ended up on Michigan Avenue. This is where Millenium Park, The Bean, the face fountains, The Art Institute, and the weird-only-legs-statues reside. Those are a lot of my favorite touristy Chicago things, and I have often made entire special trips to downtown Chicago to enjoy those things specifically. (No, I won't ever get sick of taking pictures of myself and friends in The Bean. Sorry.) As I jogged and weaved through crowds of people who were there for these very attractions, and enjoying some people-watching as I meandered, it hit me: I'm not one of them anymore. I used to be the one planning the hassle of getting downtown, wearing "sensible" shoes for walking, backpack in tow, to see all of these Chicago attractions. Now I was just a girl who left her apartment and happened to pass these things on her Saturday morning run.

I never thought I'd have that true this is home feeling while living in the city. Looking back, I guess that's a silly notion because I lived in a city across an ocean where I didn't speak the language and I fell in love with that. I guess I just always thought I'm a hick Wisconsinite at heart and would never feel exactly right as a city girl, but I do. Maybe I'm neither. Maybe I'm both?

I've written about this once before, right as I was ready to leave Spain for home again after living abroad for four months. I'm starting to get that same feeling about Chicago, the people, the places, the food, the whole vibe. When you keep your capital-H-Home (for me, that is the Lord) with you all the time, your home travels with you and becomes wherever you go. These places you inhabit become a part of who you are. They stay with you, and you with them. It's crazy, too, because the real estate that Wisconsin, Sevilla, Trinity, and Chicago and the people that go with all of those places have staked out in my heart just makes me swell up with love for all of them so much more. You'd think that you'd spread yourself thin by reaching out to new people and new horizons, but somehow it's made my heart stretch that much bigger. That stretching is not free from growing pains, of course. I have my moments where I want to run back and start it all over, closing up the doors and claiming my spot on Main Street in Cedar Grove once and for all, but that feeling always passes to give way to a larger peace that settles in. I don't know how to even put it into words so that it makes sense.

I'm not sure how I got here to this place, but whatever it is, I'm happy to be here. And to feel that feeling here. To feel like home.

Sam I am.

Last weekend I had the privilege to meet up with a dear friend. Sam has been around forever. Not really, he's only 24, but for forever to me. He went to school with me at Oostburg Christian grade school, Sheboygan County Christian High, and Trinity Christian College. So yes, we're definitely Christian school kids...but I would contest some of the cool ones. Ha.

He's seen me through the awkward years and still chooses to hang out with me, which, my friends, is the mark of a true friend. He's living in Milwaukee (which I love more and more each time I visit) and doing a cool job at an urban ecology center. Yeah, one of those smart science people. We got together for breakfast at a really cool place called Comet Cafe. I felt super hip and ate some delicious eggs. I've found that good food and good company is a combination you just can't beat.

Little Lady

Since when did Soy Joy decide to grow up and be a real person? The chubby baby is long gone.

I guess I go through this every 6 months or so, but last weekend I was home for Alex and Heidi's Wisconsin reception to celebrate their wedding with hometown friends and I could just not believe how grown up my niece Sawyer has become. She is beautiful, funny, clumsy, weird, emotional, intelligent, stubborn, and silly all at once. I love seeing the personality that she has grown into all on her own. She dragged me over to my computer for a few minutes and wanted to take funny pictures together. My favorite part of all this is that she came up with the faces we should do; I just followed her lead. It happened super quickly, but I keep looking back on these pictures and laughing my head off at her creative little ideas for faces to make.

Maybe these 5 minutes aren't that significant to the world, but they're significant to me. It's amazing to know a little person like her.

Good Housekeeping

I lucked out with these roommates. Well, again, I know it's never luck, but somehow I ended up with two fabulous girls with whom to live. Kristin and Jen are nurses in Lawndale, so we all are working in the same kinds of communities. They are low-key, happy, smart, and fun. Sometimes when I get down on my life situation, I remember how I love my apartment, love my neighborhood, love this city, and love my roommates. Oh, and I love their cooking too.

We've been trying to have semi-regular meals together and each take turns making the meal. My turn is this week and I am going to make one of my mom's meals in the crock pot, but I'm kind of nervous that it won't measure up. Since Kathy is a culinary genius herself, I think I'm safe on that front. Do you ever have that self-consciousness? I do all the time. I get nervous to run with good runners, discuss politics with political science majors, talk theology with seminary students, shop with really good dressers, and cook for perfectionists in the kitchen. While in theory I should want to do all these things with the "experts" in their respective fields, I just get intimidated instead. Maybe I should just hang out with incompetent people more often to feel better about myself? I would but then I wouldn't get to eat Jen's apple crisp. So I'll stick with what I've got going on right now.

The apple crisp. It was so cinnamony and delicious

 

Inevitable

Just had a week off from class. I watched a marathon, celebrated a bachelorette, wrote a million report card comments, did grad school homework, saw my brothers and sisters-in-law, went home, met friends in Milwaukee, and got some long runs in on some beautiful country roads.

Tomorrow I'll be back at school again. I have that feeling like I'm on the uphill climb of a rollercoaster, bracing myself for the rush that comes closer with each mechanical click of the track before I freefall over the edge.

I've gone back and forth about dreading tomorrow morning and being okay with getting back into it. Right now I'm okay with it and am embracing that "one day at a time" feeling. We'll see tomorrow when I reach that inevitable moment at 8:00 when the first student walks through the door to our room. I think I'll get the drop-in-my-stomach feeling for sure, but not without that fun adrenaline rush that always comes with it. Here we go!

Old Yeller

Taken in the impressionist museum in Paris. Keychain compliments of the one and only Karley Mae. 

The day has come. My beloved, trusty, faithful, world-traveling yellow purse has finally seen its last outing. There has rarely been a day in the last year and a half where she hasn't been by my side and safely on my shoulders, but finally last weekend the strap broke off after literally hanging on by a thread for the last two months. My mom and I bought this purse before I went abroad in the Spring of 2011, and I've been attached to it ever since. Maybe it's the memories I associate with it, maybe it's the fact that I paid only 10% of the original price for it, maybe it's the fact that it's the perfect shade of VanGogh-yellow that makes me love it so. Whatever it is, this purse and I have been through a lot together. I had to sadly purchase a new one last weekend and hope to make half as many memories with its replacement. In honor of its faithful service to carrying my wallet and chapstick for me over the last 18 months, I thought I'd share some highlights of places this purse has been. Here's to you, Old Yeller; you've served me well.  

In front of the Eiffel Tower

Walking across the Potomac on a trip to D.C. with Karyn Koops

In the middle of Nowhere, Indiana while on a roadtrip weekend

Accompanying me to weddings all summer long

Teach For America Institute this summer

Many, many, many trips to Chipotle. 

See Sam Run.

This Sunday was inspirational. Not only did the freezing air pump a little extra pep into one's step, but the Chicago marathon runners took over the city for an amazing accomplishment. Over 35,000 people came to Grant Park on Sunday to start the Bank of America Chicago Marathon at 7:30 in the morning. It was a sight to see. My favorite moments were those when people cheered on complete strangers. While people definitely were there to root for specific runners, I loved that I saw an old lady carrying a sign that said "You can do it runners! Keep going!" Stuff like that just restores my faith in humanity. Although there were thousands of runners from all over the world present, I had some serious patriotic feelings going on. I have no idea why. It just made me go all Lee Greenwood for the whole morning. I even spontaneously broke into the song once or twice.

It was even more inspirational because Karley, Mel, and myself got the opportunity to wake up at 5:15 to cheer on Sam, Karley's fiance, as he ran his first marathon ever. The kid is a BEAST. He ran 26.2 miles in 2 hours and 53 minutes. A sub-3 hour marathon on his first try!! Needless to say, we were all insanely proud. 

Just another day of realizing why I love this city. I'm starting to really feel like this could be home and not just a transient place that I'm stopping through. Of course tomorrow I could wake up and decide differently, so this might just be me romanticizing events like this as usual. But in any case, a good time was had by all, we were inspired to achieve our goals, and I got to reference Lee Greenwood in a blog post. So I'd say a good day.

Annnnnd they're off!

Faithful fans

In his final stretch - this is just after mile 25 and he was still looking good!

With the man of the hour. Good for you, Sam Coco. YOU GO Sam Coco!
(Mean Girls reference....sorry I'm not sorry.)