Two to Tango

The other day, I was doing some research for a presentation in my English 356 class, Ancient Mediterranean Literature. I've told you about this class before, and let's recall how I am about 40% Grade A "Nerd." Okay maybe a little more than 40%, but that's up for debate. Stay with me.  I was researching information on Hispania, the name of the Roman colony that existed in what is modern-day Southern Spain (including my second home, Sevilla). I was looking up stuff on Seneca the Younger, the famous Roman Stoic philosopher who was born in that colony, and found a quote of Seneca's that just warmed my little heart. It actually had nothing to do with the class, and nothing to do with my presentation. But that's why it's so great: 

"A quarrel is quickly settled when deserted by one party; there is no battle unless there be two."

Let me explain. There's history here. And it involves my Grandpa and Grandma. The former of whom is a fabulous person living in Wisconsin, and the latter of whom is a fabulous person who passed away last Spring while I was away in Spain. I happen to believe that they lived one of the best love stories of all time. Not because it was perfect by any means, but because it was real. They raised five boys and were married for 68 years through all the pleasant, scary, sad, important, mundane, and joyful days alike. 

My grandparents on one of their family road trips.
Love her outfit!

My Grandpa, the first time I hung out with him after my Grandma died, was reflecting a lot on their lives together. One comment that he made is still vividly alive in my mind. He said, "We never really fought about things. If one of us started up on an issue, the other would just shut up. You try to have an argument with just one person! Doesn't work so hot!" 

Well. For one thing, I'm not so sure that my Grandma would have agreed that they NEVER fought over ANYthing. But that's another story.

What got through to me is that they lived all those years together on a team. They were FOR the other, not against. And when one started to push, the other refused to push back. 

I think when I get to the marriage stage of life, I want to take a cue from Wilfred and Elinore on this one. I think a big part of being in love means being on the same team, the same page, and the same side. 

The first grandkid

And we're letting Seneca steal all the credit for this piece of wisdom? I've decided that I'm starting a campaign to re-credit this little nugget to my grandparents. They earned it.