"You DOIN' too much!"
That means that you're trying too hard. My second graders say that to each other when they need to settle down. When they need to stop trying to get attention by doing what they think is cool. To give you a frame of reference, a perfect example is my student named M. M takes any opportunity to yell gospel music, break into the MC hammer dance, scream, throw a fit, steal things, throw things, whatever it may be, in order to get the spotlight. He is a happy kid and gets along with others, but he just needs to feel that approval from others in the form of being the performer. He's a crowd pleaser by nature (I know how he feels). But my one girl, T, tells it like it is. She calls him out every time when he is being ridiculous and trying too hard. She throws up her hands and says, "M! You DOIN' too much!" T is on to something here. My children are wise beyond their 7 years. It's something that I'm still trying to get straight myself. They have taught me this lesson:
Be yourself.
Stop trying too hard. Stop busying yourself with impressing everyone. The best attention you can get does not come from being a pleaser but comes from being yourself. I come from a family of people who are very good at being themselves. To be a Gesch means something very particular to a lot of folks because we are a family full of people who are unashamedly weird, smart, talkative, and eccentric. And they live it out on a daily basis, whether it is popular or not. My second graders have this same sense of self. They are loud, emotional, impulsive, happy, sassy, and confident. I think it's all in the secret of being real with yourself and knowing who you are. Find that one thing that makes you YOU and DO THAT on a daily basis. I'm not speaking in terms of a career or job or calling as many people from my church say, but I'm talking about your YOU-ness. Your personality. Your vibe. Everyone's got their own stamp. Their own flavor. Are you sarcastic, whimsical, unconventional, loud, understated, or offbeat? Be those things. Are you weird? BE WEIRD.
 |
| I was addicted to Calvin and Hobbes from 2nd-8th grade. One of the things that always drew me to love Calvin's character is that he is always completely himself. |
It's obvious when you try too hard to deny your own weirdness or other flavors; it's clear when you try to make your brand of YOU fit into someone else's. I think girls in particular (maybe guys are too...I just don't understand their brains to be honest) are prone to this for some reason, myself certainly included. I know a girl who so painfully cares about talking and acting cool to adapt to the particular party, people, wedding, or workplace that she finds herself around. A lot of people do this. These are the kind of people who all dress alike, talk alike, and really want the whole world to know on a daily basis what they are saying and wearing so we can all be jealous of them on twittagrambooktrest (In case you're wondering, that's the combination of twitter, instagram, facebook, and pinterest that I think will happen when they all merge to form one mega time-sucking site to consolidate our attention in one place. You heard it here first). Then, people who check these things are supposed to believe that this is "normal" and be jealous. That works for the short term popularity boost, but in the long term I think we can all agree that just totally isn't cool. Or interesting. At all. Who wants that? And how exhausting for people to try that hard? I just want to say: "Hey. You. You DOIN' too much. Cut it out." And let me say, I am totally guilty of this. I love social media too much and love connecting to people out there who are doing interesting things with their lives. I always have to check myself to make sure the things I do are out of the joy of making connections and not out of the thrill of seeking approval, as is the pitfall of all this social media stuff. This is why my second graders are so good for me in ways like this.
 |
| Ellen Page. A celebrity very good, in my opinion, at being herself in a world were most people aren't. |
When they start to walk, talk, and do things like themselves, that's when people become cool. I think I'm getting a little bit better at this as I get older and out of the high school and college contexts. Or at least I'm trying to bet better at this; I'm trying to find my voice and embrace it. One of the perfect examples of this is my friend Ann Marie. The girl is so gorgeous and could very easily play into that "stupid-hot-chick" thing if she wanted to, the way that so many pretty people do. But instead, she unashamedly loves to go fishing, works her tail off for her masters degree, fixates on random foods (Salty Stix all through high school!), has no concern over climbing up a social ladder, constantly engages in extremely intelligent conversation, and is weird and silly all at the same time. To me, that's cool. And you know what? I'm an optimistic, sarcastic, smart, loving, adventurous, and extroverted person. That's who I am, and that's how I think I'll always be. The hip apathetic-laid-back-super-chill-understated thing just won't ever totally be me. If it is you, that's great! Then you do that thing, and I'll do my thing. I think one of the biggest compliments someone could give me as I grow up and do this whole adult-life thing would be to tell me that I'm very Anna-y these days, that I'm really myself. I'm always in a struggle to just embrace who I am and being THAT to the best of my ability. As I keep working on it, I hope you do too. Find your brand of weird and make it cool. Find the things that make you YOU and do them (this blog is one of my "things"). Set yourself free from figuring out what people want, relax, and beee yourself. Quit doin' too much.
No comments:
Post a Comment